MORE Iliad! ;-)

BOOK 6:
Greeks: *kill*
Trojans: *die*
Adrestos: Don't kill me! Dad'll pay you random!
Menelaos: Oh, OK
Agememnon: Don't be stupid: *kills Adrestos*
Greeks: *kill*
trojans: *flee*
Helenos: Hmmm, Hector, go tell our mother to offer some sacrifices to the gods
Hector: OK. Trojans, hang on a second, I'll be right back!
Diomedes: Who are you?
Glaukos: I'm Hippilokhos's son, decended from a god
Diomedes: Hey, cool, your grand-dad and my grand-dad were friends! Let's not kill each other. Here, take my armor. I'll take yours.
Glaukos: OK
Trojan wives: How's our men?
Hector: Go pray to the gods
Hekabe: What're you doing home?
Hector: Mom, go pray to Athena that she'll stop Diomedes from kicking all our asses while I try to pry Paris out of Helen's bed.
Hekabe: OK. Hey, Athena, cut us some slack!
Athena: *ignore*
Hector: Paris, get yer ass out and fight!
Paris: I will, I will...
Helen: Why didn't I die at birth? Hector, come sit with me.
Hector: Um, no. I'm off to find my wife.
Andromakhe: Damnit, you're going to leave me all alone and make our son an orphen!
Hector: Sorry.
Paris: OK, I'm ready to go
Hector: I think I'm getting a migraine...