**How can you care?** 'Because I choose to.' **You make it sound so simple.** 'That's because it is simple. Hard sometimes, but simple.'

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Steps forward and backwards... there is a lot more pain then there had been with any of the other abdominal surgeries, and I've been runing an low-grade fever off and on for the past few days. I'm tired, and tired of pain, and tired of not finding real comfortable ways to sit and stand. I'm worried that June 5th is going to get here and I'm going to be in no position to go back to work.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

I'm doing better.

Yesterday I got everything done I needed to get my ostomy supplies delivered monthly to my door, which helped my state of mind a lot. So did the shower. ;-)

There are three huge, cute kittens here... Yin weighs 1 pound 9 ounces and still looks very bear-cub like. Yang (who just climbed Dad's chair into my lap) also weighs 1 pound 9 ounces, and seems to be trying to have 1 blue eye and 1 other colored eye, maybe yellow. Tao weighs 1 pound 11 ounces and is quite fuzzy.

I'll be doing some editing of the links on the side in a little while... replace the BCIR information with more relavent information.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Kinda short... I'm out of the hospital, but I'm a long way from being what I'd consider well. Me and this new external stoma are going to have to get to know each other a good bit better... I've gone from having a small stoma (the size of my upper thumb joint) under the skin to this huge thing sticking out above the skin. The ostomy nurse and the surgeon say it'll get smaller over the next six weeks, but I hate how it looks right now.

I'm also in a lot of pain... let's just say he opened me up enough to give a detailed report on the state of my ovaries, uterus, liver, and gallbladder, as well as the small intestine and keeping an eye on my urethas (the connections from the kidneys to the bladder). There's also new pain on the left side since that's where the stoma is (normally it's on the right side, but that's where all the scar tissue and stuff from all the infections was). And of course the arthritis in my back has yet to forgive me for spending hours on an operating table and 3 days in a bed that didn't have 1 inch memory foam on it.

So... I'm alive. I'm breathing. But I'm not happy yet, and this is going to be a slow process. I don't want to wallow in despair, but I'm feeling overwhelmed, because I have to call the insurance company and get started on figuring out how the fuck I get ostomy supplies. I have enough to last me a couple of weeks if I'm good, but...

Oh, and yeah, this stuff isn't necessarily cheap, either. I know Dad has to pay full price for his, and then eventually get slightly reimbursed by his insurance company.

AND the hospital is already screwing up my insurance by not having the right account number for me, even though I wrote it down twice when I was doing all the pre op stuff AND they made a goddamn copy of my card.

Oh, and the insurance company didn't pay for a bunch of lab tests last month to determine why I got the clots in December, and they won't pay for the ambulance ride, so I owe one place $540 and the other $600+.

Yeah. I'm stressed, and I'm overwhelmed, and I'm not coping real well yet. Bear with me, or don't.

Friday, May 11, 2007

No way to put this but bluntly:

I'm having surgery Friday the 18th to have my guts rearranged again. I had another abscess start Sunday, and have been on 2 antibiotics since Monday, and just had it drained an hour ago. The surgeon absolutely did not like what he saw in there, and said that if we waited, I ran the risk of it getting infected over and over, leading to the huge chances of dead tissue and lots of other bad things.

So, he'll go in Friday morning, take out the existing collar and valve, and make a new stoma on the left side for a standard Brooke's ileostomy. So, no more tight, low-slung clothing. Sorry, guys. ;-)

I'm with my parents right now, and will be out of work for another 3 weeks or so. I'm going to ask my folks to move the kittens here, into Dad's office, so I can keep socializing them. My guys will be OK, although I'll still go over there as often as possible.

I'll let ya'll know more when I have it.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Tao watching Shortcake eat. I don't think she believes that anyone would like that hard crunchy stuff.

Tao contemplates climbing Mt. Jenn-leg. Thankfully, her claws are small and the jeans are thick. ;-)

Yang checks out my sock feet.

Yin was sleepy last Saturday.