**How can you care?** 'Because I choose to.' **You make it sound so simple.** 'That's because it is simple. Hard sometimes, but simple.'

Friday, April 30, 2004

So I'm noodling around Chudah's Corner, looking for the "Suteki da ne?" lyrics. Found those, messed around some more. Found a translation of "Liberi Fatali", from FF VIII. Damn, they rock... proves just what a genius Uematsu is.

Liberi Fatali , english translation, Nobuo Uematsu
Wake from your sleep, my children
You're childhood years are gone
Wake from your sleep, my children
Your rest is gone

Go to the true garden
The garden of spring's truth

With fiery truth
Burn the evils of the world
With fiery truth
Light the darkness of the world

Farewell, children
The day has died
Grrr, I forgot how much I hate working with this gold thread.

But I'm out of books at the moment, and this thing needs to be done and framed by June, so I'd better buckle down and do it.
People to call:

1) OB/GYN, to get Depo prescription before Monday
2) Dr. Stohecker, since his office completely fubar'd the insurance filing
3) Baptist hospital, to set up the pre-surgery stuff
4) PAI, to find out how to tell these idiots to file the insurance right so it goes to PAI, and not to my defunct state health plan

Thursday, April 29, 2004

I'm pre-registering for the surgery.

"You'll need to bring a $400 deposit for the surgery."


I won't bring it. That's what my insurance is for, especially since I hit my deductable in January.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Oh, duh, the AC.

There's a leak in it. A part of it is rusted under the house. It's 20+ years old. I need a new one.

I told them I did not have $4,000 lying around the replace the whole system, so they shot it full of freon and took my $235.
Surgery will be Wednesday, May 19th, at 2pm.

Call me crazy (yes, I'm looking at you, Lopez), but I'm looking forward to this. One way or another, all the pain and crap I've been through since late December will be over.

Monday, April 26, 2004

.8 miles in 15 minutes. Go me!

AC at home is broken. More money.

Surgeon calls on Sunday. *wuv surgeon* Says that he talked to a second radiologist on Saturday *more wuv for surgeon* and that what the first radiologist thought was a fistula isn't.

Saturday, April 24, 2004

Not having good times right now. :-p

I'm looking at what's ahead in FF X-2, and I may have to start over again. The guide I have says you need to be about level 65 to hit the Farplane. I'm about 20 levels below that. :-p

Ever wanted to spend a whole day drunk? I did that once in college... drank vodka and did vodka jello shooters and basically stayed out of my skull the whole Saturday. One girl told me to my face I was beautiful in that condition.

Lord knows I'm not feeling beautiful now, with this damn fistula giving me 9 kinds of hell because of the fistulagram.

I'm also gaining some weight. Which is worrying me a little.

Any comments about that not being a problem will get you smacked.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

Because I can't do anything half-way...

They think they saw TWO fistulas. One behind the valve (that's the one we knew about), and another on the other end of the pouch, looks like up by where it connects to the small intestine (the fuck that come from???).

More when I hear from the surgeon...

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Some magazine I've never heard of puts out a 50 worst songs list

Some of them I can understand. But please explain to me why the fuck "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkle is on that list?!?!?

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Every tried to read The Silmarillion? I have. Painful.

Here is a much better version

Monday, April 19, 2004

Well, there HAD been a Quizilla thing here... but the pic refuses to show. So to hell with it.
My boss: Do you want some overtime?
Me (thinking): Is the sky blue?

My co-worker is out because of a ceiling leak. Considering I'll probably miss most - if not all - of Thurseday, I'll take what I can get.

Need more books tho... I went through 518 pages of The Amber Spyglass in less than 8 hours...
Duke's cutting 8am classes to help sleep deprived students.

Bah. Wimps. The students need to learn that can't party all the time. A few F's for not showing up will learn them.
No offense, but what kind of irony is it when the CEO of McDonald's dies unexpectedly of a heart attack?

Friday, April 16, 2004

The surgeon got the films yesterday, and of course they're useless to him.

More tests Thurseday.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

I'm going shooting with my boss again today. Sounds like a great way to release stress. He also said something about there "being a crowd". I think he's been bragging on me, or something. That, or everyone who's seen the target up in my office wants to see if it was really me shooting. ;-)

edited to add PS: Yes, I know, I promised pictures. Mom got a free digital camera when Dad got his new laptop, and it's at my house. I just need to break out of this funk and do something with it.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Otherworld Nobuo Uematsu

Go on if you want it.
An otherworld awaits you
Don't you give up on it.
You bite the hand that feeds you.

All alone cold fields you wander
Memories of it, cloud your sight
Fills your dreams, disturbs your slumber
Lost your way, a fallen knight

Hold now, aim is steady
An otherworld awaits you.
One thousand years--you ready?
The otherworld it takes you

Go into the sand and the dust in the sky
Go now, there's no better plan than to do or to die
Free me pray to the faith in the face of the light
Feed me fill me with sin now get ready to fight

You know you will
You know you will
You know you know you know you know that you will
You know you know you know you know that you will

Fight fight fight
Fight fight fight
Fight fight fight

Hope dies and you wander
The otherworld it makes you
Dreams they rip asunder
The otherworld it hates you
Free now ride up on it
Up to the heights it takes you
Go on if you want it.
An otherworld awaits you
Ya know, I bitch about my co-workers, whine about the network guys, and routinely beome thunderstruck at the stupidity of the lawyers.

And then my boss decides to bring me some ice. Not in a cup. In one of the silver ice buckets.

The radiology group at Palms of Pasadena hospital is in big trouble now.

Friday afternoon I faxed a request for them to OVERNIGHT my films to the surgeon up here.

I call the surgeon's office this morning, they haven't gotten them.

I call the radiology group, they sent them IN THE REGULAR MAIL. God only knows when they'll get to my surgeon.

I am not amused.

Monday, April 12, 2004

If Dawn and I were a tag team, I think this would be our entrance music. If we weren't using something from FF X. Like "Otherworld". Or Seymour's psycho fight music. Or some of the hauntingly painful piano music that lets you know all along this isn't a happy ending.

"Can't Not", by Alanis Morissette
I'd be lying if I said I was completely unscathed
I might be proving you right with my silence or my retaliation
Would I be letting you win in my non reaction?

How would I explain?
How would I explain this to my children if I had them?

Because I can't not
Because I can't not
Because I can't afford to be misread one more time...

Saturday, April 10, 2004

The surgery has failed.

More surgery soon.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Students complaining about book costs

So what else is new? When I was in college 10 years ago I was paying nearly $1000 a year for books.
Did you play with Barbies/G.I. Joes:: I don’t think I ever owned any G. I Joes. Transformers, yes. I wish I still had the Contructicons…
Did you own Treasure Trolls:: No
Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210:: No
Did you play Simon Says:: I think in pre-school.
Did you watch Fraggle Rock:: Yes
Did you wet the bed:: For a short period, yes, when my bladder was too small for the rest of me.
Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed:: No
Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them:: No
Were you shy:: Painfully
Were you spoiled:: No
Did you go to the circus:: Yes
Did you go to the zoo:: Yes
Were you in a car accident:: In high school, yes.
Did you build snowmen:: Yes
Did you cry when you scraped your knee:: Probably
Were your older cousins mean to you:: No, because I barely ever saw them. Years would go by without seeing them.
Did you think slinkies were cool:: Yes
Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer:: No
Were you afraid of the dark:: No
Did you have slumber parties:: No
Did you have New Kids on the Block sheets, pillows, pajamas, sleeping bag?:: No, but my little sister owned every tape and had several posters.
Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany:: No
Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy:: Of course

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

What Is Your Opinion Of The Following
angry poet
Virgins:: good for them
God:: is what you need at the time
The Osbournes:: never watched any of it
Reality TV:: is as real as the rest of TV
J.Lo:: never seen any of her movies, don’t like her music
Religion:: is also what you need at the time
Emo music:: don’t know what that is
Valentine's Day:: bah humbug
Christina Aguilera's comeback:: She left?
Homosexuals:: Love as thou wilt
Abortion:: I hope you never need one
Inter-racial relationships:: Love as thou wilt
Murder:: a distinct possibility at times
Death:: not the end you think it is
Obesity:: too close to home
Pre-marital sex:: can’t stop it by preaching at them
Terrorism:: is not as easy as the government would have you believe, else the Golden Gate Bridge would’ve been blown up 10 times over
Pornography:: if it works for you, fine, I don’t want to see it, thank you.
Fortune Tellers:: mostly street hacks
Threesomes:: Love as thou wilt
Prostitution:: sad
Politics:: a barely necessary evil
Country music:: most of it sounds the same to me, like all the pop stuff
George W. Bush:: What were ya’ll thinking when you voted for him?
Cloning:: A possibility for those of us who have had body parts/organs removed
Britney's boobs:: overexposed
Gas prices in America:: Too high, but no-one’s going to do anything about it.
The old "Dune" movie is going back (what a waste of time). Should be getting Kenshin vol 17 and Emerson, Lake, and Palmer: Welcome Back by Wednesday, and then Cadfael: The Rose Rent by the weekend.

334 in the queue, BTW. ;-)
Added Kurt to the blog-list on the side. He's posts some very interesting stuff sometimes over on the DVDVR board.

Monday, April 05, 2004

Ugh, I think I need to re-randomize my Netflix queue (306!!). Now I've got a bunch of TV stuff and music stuff crammed together at the bottom.

I'm never happy, I know. ;-) I'm also bored. ;-)
Stole this from Tam, who is the Goddess of All Cool Meme's

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
It's the Columbia Phone Book. 4th line is the phone number if you're calling in a phone problem from your cell phone.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
The telephone, which just rang with some lawyer calling for help on my personal line instead of the help desk line.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Some of the extras from my "The Dark Crystal" DVD.

4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is:
A bit after 11am.

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The IKON center's timeclock just clunked.

7. When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
Getting out of the car and walking to the office.

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
Rich's blog.

9. What are you wearing?
Ankle-length black skirt, long-sleaved grey shirt, grey/white checked oversweater, flats, hair down.

10. Did you dream last night?

11. When did you last laugh?
Probably while shopping with Mom yesterday.

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
This bland cream paint; the target that I killed last Halloween; my Word Expert MOUS certificate, framed; several color print-outs of pictures from the Hubble; a color print-out of the FF X logo; a color print-out of several Autobots; color print-outs of my family; the Bene Gisserit Litany Against Fear; an email my Mom sent me; the Chinese character for "Prosperity", framed; a cross-stitch I did that needs to be framed; a picture of a Troll Hunter (a pencil drawing used to promot WarCraft III at one point online) colored by me; a small wooden calender Heather gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago. *phew*

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Every time I look in the mirrir...

14. What do you think of this quiz?
It's a nice way to pass the time since I left my sewing in the car (and probably wouldn't be doing it anyways).

15. What is the last film you saw?
"End of Evangelion". Bleh.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A Honda Insight.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I love watching the trees.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I'll pass, this one is personal.

19. Do you like to dance?
I did. I do sometimes when no-one's looking. I think I was Raving before there were Raves, tho. ;-)

20. George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
He's a dumbass.

21a. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Amanda Lee

21b. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Stephen Arthur

22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Living abroad? No.
270 in the NetFlix queue...
CNN.com has a poll asking who's to blame for the rising gas prices, cut backs in production or environmental laws.

How about c) the gas companies, who know that most Americans are so addicted to their SUV's and other gas guzzlers, and who absolutely cannot carpool or anything like that, will pay whatever it takes without really doing anything about it.
Back to work.

Especially since I'm about 5 days short on the paycheck I'm about to get. :-p

Saturday, April 03, 2004

Well, I've beaten Final Fantasy X.

Now I'm about to go spend money I really shouldn't to order FF X-2. I can't stop caring about these characters. And I sure as hell am not leaving without knowing for sure what happened to Tidus.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

How I had dinner:

1) Pop a can of Campbell's Chunky steak and potato soup
2) Pour into bowl
3) Get out slotted spoon
4) Strain out all of the chunks
5) Nuke the thick, tasty broth
6) Enjoy first hot meal since Tuesday
Everything went fine yesterday, except for ending up with a migraine. So far today, things look good.