**How can you care?** 'Because I choose to.' **You make it sound so simple.** 'That's because it is simple. Hard sometimes, but simple.'

Saturday, August 30, 2003

I have a quote about this kiss that everyone's posting pictures of... this is for both Britney and Madonna.

"Time went by
It wasn't so easy now
All uphill
And not feeling so strong
Yes, times were hard
Too much thinking 'bout the future
And what people might want

"And then there was the time when she performed
When nobody called fror more
And soon every time she stepped into the light
They really let her know the score..."
Duchess by Genesis

Friday, August 29, 2003


Oh yeah, this is me...
I'm not sure which is worse... sleep deprivation, or the drugged all day feeling when I take a Unisom...

Thursday, August 28, 2003


Any more questions as to why America invaded Iraq?

I didn't think so.
From now on, if I need hospital care, I am NOT going to Palmetto Baptist hospital here in Columbia. They're billing department has their collective head so far up their collective asses it's not even funny.

I made a payment plan with them in May for two accounts I ran up in March. In June, when I got another bill for the full amount, I called them about it and got a "computer system problem" excuse. I made payments at the beginning of July (after I got my first Nexsen Pruett paycheck), the beginning of August, and the end of August (I get paid every two weeks, so I make payments every other paycheck). Yesterday I get a bill for one of the accounts saying that if I didn't pay up in 7 days, they were turning it over to a collection agency.

Oh hell no.

It took four calls to two places, but things seem to be straight now. I also have a direct name and number at the hospital to call if I have more problems. But I know an easy way to not have more problems: don't use that hospital.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

The nice thing about overtime is the money it puts in the bank.

Paid off another doctor (well, radiology group, actually), which leaves only the local hospital to pay off. YAY!!!

So, I finally broke down and am getting a MedicAlert bracelet. I figure between my re-arranged plumbing and my allerigies (aspirin and sulfa), it's a good idea.

*yawning* Hmmm, bedtime soon...

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

You are completely against the norm. You rock and
you don't worry about being pretty about it.
You can keep up with the toughest of them
without breaking a sweat.

What Makes you Unique?
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Ichi - "That one with wisdom"

What would your Japanese name be? (female)
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OK, maybe I'm stupid, but why is everyone getting their panties in a bunch about this movie? There's been a bunch of movies and television specials about the Crucifixion, why is this one supposed to be any worse? Because it's in language no-one speaks anymore? Last time I watched "Jesus of Nazareth" (the one with Michael York as John the Baptist), it showed the Jews as being the ones who wanted Jesus crucified. Someone help me out here...

So, I guess next year we'll be invading Iran, right? Anything to distract the majority from the fact that it's an election year. ;-)

Monday, August 25, 2003

After the THIRD time Mindspring drops, I take the hint. "OK, God, see me go into the kitchen, put the pizza away, divvy up the 6.55 pounds of ground chuck I bought a few days ago in 1/2 pound batches, load and run the disherwasher."

Domestic Goddess I ain't. Sorry, guys.
ARRRRG!!! FUCK Mindspring and the FUCKING horse it road in on! And while I'm at it, a big FUCK YOU to BellSouth for having crappy phone lines out here.

I had a nice big blog post done and had hit the Post & Publish button, and that's when Mindspring decides to time out and disconnect. POOF! Gone. I can't wait until I can afford DSL...

*stomps off to get more pizza*
I'm going through withdrawal... I forgot my copy of the "Pirates" soundtrack. *uncontrollable shaking*

Sunday, August 24, 2003


My half-brother is a computer idiot. He swears he needs Windows XP, when he doesn't. He loads up all this extra Norton crap that he doesn't need, then gets all surprised and upset when it crashes all the time. Funny, I bought that computer for myself almost 5 years ago and it almost never crashed in the years I ran it with Windows 98SE.

As a former friend of mine used to say... it's one of those "error between chair and keyboard" things. ;-)
I didn't kill anyone, as tempting as it was. Whenever Mom and her ex-husband are in the same geographical area, it becomes a twisted game of one-upmanship... who can tell the worst story about something, who REALLY knows what's going on with Heather, who's kids and grandkids are smarter, etc. By the end of the evening I wanted to throw up. I just came home, fed the cats, and collapsed in bed.

Which means I won't be turning on AIM until I get Jeremy's page done. Gods know I'm tired of him calling me a slacker for not getting the work done he wants done.

Might have to go raid the savings account and see a movie or something.

Saturday, August 23, 2003

If you come to Columbia, and see a woman in a red Neon holding the steering wheel with one hand and conducting an orchestra with the other, don't panic, it's just me. ;-)

Also, after finishing reading "Order of the Phoenix", I have figured out that I am related to Harry Potter. No, really! His mother's maiden name is Evans. My mother's maiden name is Evans. It would explain a good bit. ;-)

Let's see... today is my nephew Caleb's 2nd birthday. YAY! My mother's ex-husband (my two older half-sibs father) has come down from Maryland to help us celebrate. Yay.

Hmmm... I probably better hurry up and rip this copy of the "Pirates" soundtrack to my hard drive before I wear out the CD. ;-)

Friday, August 22, 2003

It's always kinda funny/sad/interesting to listen to the other women at work talk to each other. I have so little in common with them that I'm not usually included in these dicussions. They talk about husbands, either the ones they're divorcing, or the ones they're staying with despite numerous infidelities because they found themselves pregnant, or the one they've been married to forever that they just despise. They talk about children, the rebel ones and the good ones, and pregnancy woes, and how men are pigs, and clothes, and jewelry.

I can't talk about husbands or even boyfriends. I will never give birth to children. I don't have money for expensive clothes or jewelry. Some men are pigs, yes, but I've been Goddess-blessed to know many more who weren't.

I can talk about computers, and pro-wrestling, and computer games, and needlework, and ulcerative colitis, and how hospitals suck, and how I don't listen to the radio anymore, and how I love to drive, and my cats who are my children.

I don't think they'd listen. Or understand.
Note to self: Fire up WinMX before you collapse tonight to look for stuff by Anastacia. Us scarred chicks need to stick together. ;-)

Second note to self: Do not kill best friend because of many and various excuses as to why she cant' get a new job.
I bought the soundtrack for "Pirates of the Caribbean" a few days ago, and now I'm scribbling down things for my own sequal. Of course I would star in it. ;-)

I think I know why I was so tired and run-down by the end of yesterday... forgot to take my vitamens that morning. One chewable multi-vitamen, Omega-3 fatty acid (since I don't eat fish), B12 (since I have a tendency for single-digit blood counts), and Vitamen C (to boost my much-abused immune system). It seems to work, I stay mostly healthy.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

"I do what I can
I work for a living
And that's who I am
That's who I am

"But it's good to be alive
And these are the choices
We make to survive
We do what we can"
We Do What We Can by Sheryl Crow
10 hours today... 10 hours tomorrow... 10 hours Monday... at least the paycheck will look good.

*zombie walks around the room*

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

More bad news, sorry...

Dad's being let go by the consulting company he's worked for, there's just no jobs, they say. He gets one week "on the bench", then laid off. If anyonek nows someone who needs an AS/400 guru, let me know.

Mom needs a complete hysterectomy to solve a bunch of health problems. Of course, now that Dad is basically unemployed, she's thinking about not having it done.

My sister and her husband have basically told my mom that they've made other arrangements for my neice's care. Which, knowing my brother-in-law, means we won't hardly ever see Raven or TJ again.

Needless to say, I'm a little bit stressed...

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

I swear, sometimes I want to kill my best friend.

She whines about her job, but won't go find another one. She whines about not having money, but she spends it on DVDs and getting her nails done and eating out. When I try to suggest things to help, they're either ignored or I get the litany of excuses.

Don't panic... I'm not always down. ;-)
To the guy in the red truck who tailgated me, then honked at me, then drove around me and cursed at me for doing 37 in a 35 zone: Fuck you. I hope you have the worst week of your life.

Monday, August 18, 2003

*whining about the Chinese the people in Word Processing are eating*

I'm too poor to eat out right now... I've got leftovers and sandwiches to look forward to for the next couple of years. :-p
My mantra for work...

I am the Falcon among sparrows
I am the Cat among the pigeons
I am the Wolf Cub in the litter of the lap dog

Dare to keep all your dreams alive
Dare to be all that you can be
Dare is a place where dreams survive
It's calling you on to victory"
Dare by Stan Bush

Saturday, August 16, 2003

Good morning... no hangover (never have gotten one), all the crap is out of my system, now I think I can face the world (and the two women at work) again without feeling like I need to punch someone.

Going to be updating the Tribute page, I have four rolls of film to sort and scan and link. Need to go through the Guam pics Lopez sent and get those posted before too long, too, or he'll start whining again.

Then it's off to Wildside. WHEEE!!!

Friday, August 15, 2003

good thing I have passwords saved...

WarCraft III soundtrack now... lots of layers, might have to go lay down to listen to them

very drunk. I like being very drunk sometimes. Bite me.
Whee, Jenn is drunk... watch the keyboard run away...

And listening to the "Children of Dune" soundtrack... sway your head to the desert sound... think of Sandworms and Spice and Maud-dib...
*raises her third shot of very very good saki to the sky*

Here's to everyone who won't hide their light under a fucking bushel.
Kenshin Himura
You are Kenshin Himura!!

*Which of my fave anime characters are you?*
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I LOVE this series... I've seen about 2/3rds of it, all the way through the Kyoto arc. More stuff to buy when I get a DVD player and hit the lottery. ;-)
You have a great gift with the ways of the psi.
Now would you please stop reading my mind?

Are you psychic?
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hehehehehehehehehehe... Stuipd quiz, but I love the answer.

Sometimes, I am so ashamed of the people in the state I live in...

Terrorism was the first thing to come to everyone's (well, everyone but me) mind? Not, "It's summer, the demand must've overloaded the ciruit." or "It's summer, must've been a lightning strike somewhere." Gotta be them terrorists. The ones who are so scattered, they can't even be found.


*rolls eyes*
You are ice. You have a cold exterior but a warm

What element is your soul?
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A one-question quiz... OK...
Night Sky1
You come from the Night Sky. You're drawn to the
stars and planets, and it's no wonder why, you
came from them.

Where Did Your Soul Originate?
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This is so true... I grew up watching Star Wars and Star Trek, and I'm always looking up. 75% of my wallpaper collection is shots from the Hubble telescope.
Geez... it's hard to find quizzes were the pictures actually, ya know, WORK...
Gregory SMith
You are Ephram Brown from Everwood. You are a
troubled teenager going through far more than a
normal person. You have a bright future ahead
of you, but you don't know how to use it. And a
tip: Smile.

What TV character are you?
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Never watched Everwood, but I sure can sympathize with the troubled teenager going through more than a normal person part. I think I've made it to a mostly bright future.
You are Belle from Beauty and the Beast!

What Disney Princess are you?
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YAY! I have to admit, I did kinda skew the answers so I'd try to get this. ;-) Belle's my second favorite Disney heroine, behind Mulan.
Your: Happy eyes! Your cheerfull, bright and always want to try something new. Your inquisitive and quite lovable. You have many friends and will succseed in life.
Your: Happy eyes! Your cheerfull, bright and always
want to try something new. Your inquisitive and
quite lovable. You have many friends and will
succseed in life.

What type of eyes do you have?
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OK, ok, so I'm bored at work... it's Friday afternoon!
You're Vash from Trigun!

What anime movie/game character are you?
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Haven't seen Trigun yet... it's on the massive list of Anime I will one day own. ;-)
"Don't hide your light under a basket."

Well, fuck it, I wouldn't if I didn't keep getting slammed by someone at work because of it.

I REFUSE to apologize anymore for being smarter than 90% of the population. I will not dumb myself down to keep from threatening other women in my office. I'm sorry you're going through a hellish divorce, but I will not be your fucking scapegoat.

I'm a fucking scary smart bitch. Deal.

Damn, I can't even remember everything I wrote. Damnit.
Fun and spunky, you link, there for you are! This
is all fun and games, and you do what you
damned well please!

What kind of blogger am I?
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Thursday, August 14, 2003

So a good portion of the Northeast, Canada, and even into Ohio has lost power. It's amazing how fast they said, "Not terrorism!" Won't matter, some will say it was a major cover-up. Or that terrorists caused the overload in the first place.

*rolls eyes*

And when was the last time YOU paid attention when the government cried "Wolf!" with it's terrorism warnings? How many times has the Golden Gate Bridge been about to be blown up? I guess as many times as it takes to get another batch of our rights gaurenteed by the Constitution taken away.
And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen
cause I've seen twilight

"Twilight" by Vanessa Carlton
Bleh. The only bad part about the shot is the slight nausea afterwards. I think it's more from the needle than the medicine, but who knows. I'll just put off eating until I either a) get the shakes so bad I need the protein or b) it goes away. :-p

Random thought for the moment: I have shaving. I have thick hair that loves to grow under my skin instead of on top of it. Thick DARK hair that stands out on my pale skin. Shaving takes a lot of quality time with me, my electric razor (skin's too sensitive for blades) and a sharp needle to dig out ingrown hairs. One of the few ways I oblige society... they say women shouldn't have hair, so I shave legs, arms, armpits, and even around my surgical scars on my belly. I pluck hairs in some other places we won't mention in a pubilc blog. ;-p

OK, ok, back to work...
At work. Joy.

I am the last person in South Carolina who uses a turn signal and doesn't run red lights? I mean, if the Lt. Governor can't be bothered to do so, the rest of us don't have to, either?

I also think I'm the last person on Ebay on consistantly emails people and leaves feedback. I've sold 30 things in the last three weeks... I've gotten 2 feedbacks. And God forbid you have a question about someone's auction, there's a real chance you won't get an answer back.

Oh well, on to the cross-stitch I do while the phones don't ring...
Morning... 5:36am here in South Cackalacky, and I've been up 15 - 20 minutes already. Hurray for coffee!

Already updated my checkbook... need to update the Tribute page (http://nwawildside.bravepages.com/)... should update Jeremy Lopez's page, but I don't think I have the brain cells yet to do it without screwing something up.

Get my Depo shot today. Why the shot? Because on the Pill I was bleeding 21 days out of 28, and we won't go into what I'm like without... with the shot, no flooding, no cramping, no spotting... nothing. Works for me. It's not like I'm having kids.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Oh, guess I should put emails or something...

jlsigman@hotmail.com is the one I give out, it's got the best spam blocking.

I'm on MSN sometimes, and AIM all day.

I'm also on a MUD when I can.

I play Diablo II right now, Jav-azon and Zeal-adin.

I do webpages...
OK, a bit about myself, now that I have figured out I can keep getting here...

I'm an almost 28-year-old woman, single, permanently single, and did I mention I'm single and not looking?

I do look. I want to lay my head against the chest of one man in particular, to feel his skin and hear his heart beat in my ear. It's what inevitably comes after that I do not want, cannot want, seem to be wired to not want. I guess 8+ years of sexual abuse will do that to you.

So I live alone, me and my four cats, in a house I bought three years ago.

I dream of what I've never felt. And wonder if I'll ever find someone similar.

OK, so I've caved in to peer pressure and started one of these things. It doesn't seem to be blocked at work, so I might actually think about using it.

Maybe. ;-)