BOOK 7:
Paris: *kill*
Hector: *kill*
Trojans: *kill*
Apollo: Athena, look, let's have a champ from each side fight
Athena: Sounds good to me
Helenos: Hector, I heard the gods talking, challenge one of the Greeks
Hector: OK. Hey, Greeks, pick someone to fight me
Greeks: *cower*
Menelaos: Y'all suck, I'll do it
Agememnon: No, you can't! We'll get someone else to do it.
Nestor: Man, y'all suck. If I was younger, I'd go kick his ass.
Agememnon: OK, we'll draw lots.
Aias: Sweet! I win! I get to kick his ass! Hey, Hector, that moper Achilles isn't our only champion!
Hector: Aw, shut up and bring it.
Aias: *fight*
Hector: *fight*
Idaios: Hmmm, this could go on forever, and it's about eating time. All right, boys, break it up, that's enough!
Aias: Make him stop first
Hector: OK, it's chow time, we'll do this again later. Here's my sword.
Aias: Here's my loin-cloth, see ya later.
Trojans: *feast*
Greeks: *feast*
Nestor: Ya know, we really should do something about all those dead bodies out there.
Greeks: Good idea
Antenor: Let's give Helen and all the treasure back, we're gonna lose
Paris: I'll give back the treasure, but Helen stays
King Priam: Look, let's go eat. Idaios, go down to the Greeks and see if we can spend a day getting our dead.
Idaios: Hey, Greeks, we'll give up the treasure, but not Helen. And can we burn our dead tomorrow?
Agememnon: We take all or nothing. And yeah, take a day to burn the dead.
Greeks: *burn dead*
Trojans: *burn dead*
Greeks: *build moat and wall around ships*
Poseidon: They built a wall and didn't sacrifice to me?!?
Zeus: Would you shut up? You can tear it down when they're done.