Here's the gang... they're really exploring their cage a lot, except for Tao, who still likes to sleep. ;-)








This one is posted only because Tao is in the background going, "HEY!! GETOFFOFMEEEE!!!"










This morning I pulled Yang out, since he was the only one awake, and let him crawl around on a clean sheet on the floor. Shortcake was never too far away, and this picture shows just how small he still is... that's her back foot.














Sorry for the red-eye, but Microsoft's Picture Editor is as complicated a graphics program as I can manage. :-p Anyways, here he is on wobbly legs.












A shot showing that he hasn't quite got walking down yet... one back leg or another never quite does the same as the rest. ;-)

I swear, if one of my co-workers says, "Oh, it doesn't matter," or "I don't care," or "You decide for us," one more time, I'm going to scream. I'm not getting paid to be their manager, and right now I'm really tired of being leaned on like one. Am I really so old and out of touch that I can't comprehend why people won't make a decision and take responsibility for it?

Here's all three of them snoozing together. Yang is practicing his camouflage.







Tao still has her eyes completely closed. She all about the sleeping. ;-) But, not to worry, she does wriggle about a good bit, and she's the first one I've heard purr.















Yang's eyes are partially open, hence the pitiful look here.














Yin's eyes were open last night. Figured that the fraidy-cat would want to be able to see the monsters coming after her. ;-)








The sisters snoozing together.












In other animal news, I heard an owl on my property for the first time last night.

I have KITTENS!!!



This is Shortcake, the young mother of three kittens born April 5th. She's medium hairred, incredibly sweet and affectionate, with a great purr.











This is Tao, a girl. You can't see much of it in this picture, but she has a white smudge on her face along with white paws. She's not a morning kitty. ;-) She's also the smallest of the three.












This is Yang, the boy, and the biggest by far. He's very curious and has already tried to climb out of the cage, even with his eyes still closed! He's going to be a huge white puffball when he grows up. ;-)









This is Yin, the other girl. She's quite a whiner, crying at everything, which makes Shortcake a bit frantic at times. She's also very long haired already.

I got this note yesterday morning...

Dear person I have been given to:

Please do not put your portable phone on your left ear. It makes me jumpy.

Love,

Your pacemaker

If you think you are free,
You are free.

If you think you are bound,
You are bound.

For the saying is true:
You are what you think.

-Ashtavakra Gita 1:11

Attention is living; inattention is dying.
The attentive never stop; the inattentive are dead already.

-Dhammapada 21, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

No kittens for me this time. :-(

Apparently the mother is very feral and mean, so they're going to give her to another animal worker instead of a volunteer.

Well, I decided to not mope, and to look for something new to do with some of my time. What do I love? Final Fantasy, cats, learning to cook, taking pictures, etc., etc....

Project Pet is an organization my parents did a lot of volunteer work before, and I have had pictures of some of our babies up here in the past. So I gave them an email, and they have a desperate need.

So, by the weekend, I will have a mother cat and her 7 (YIKES!) newborn babies in my house. They'll be in a room by themselves, with one of the cages my parents are going to bring over. I'll be able to work on my photography while I'm taking care of them.

So, yes, there will be spammage of pictures and stuff. And who knows, they might end up on CuteOverload or the Daily Kitten. ;-)

Bored now...

Need mental stimulation, and work just ain't cutting it.

Pretty bad when I'm craving two things I either can't have or never really enjoyed, simply because I'm desperate for a change.

Here's something that fits...

Darling, give me your absence tonight
Take the shade from the canvas and leave me the white
Let me sink in the silence that echoes inside
And don't bother leaving the light on
'Cause I suddenly feel like a different person
From the roots of my soul come a gentle coercion
And I ran my hand o'er a strange inversion
A vacancy that just did not belong
The child is gone
"The Child is Gone" - Fiona Apple

KADAJ FIGURE!!!!

*much wanting and lusting over*

And I LOVE the dirty look the Cloud figure is giving him... all, "Damnit, why doesn't she love me and want me?"

Which Heroes Hero are You? Your Result: Peter Petrelli   You're a dreamer who has lived in the shadow of your family and wants desperately to be your own person. Like Hiro, you feel the need to do something extraordinary with your life. You have dreamy eyes and great hair.
Isaac Mendez
Claire Bennett
Sylar
Hiro Nakamura
Nathan Petrelli
Matt Parkman
Nikki Sanders
Which Heroes Hero are You? Create a Quiz

ETA: Zip file is updated. Thanks to Janice, who sees things I don't. :-p

Rules:

1. Have your music library ready. When is it ever not ready?
2. Choose one (1) song from your music library whose title starts with the first letter (or number) of your screen name. I'll be using JLSigman
3. Repeat this process with each successive letter (or number) in your screen name until you run out of letters (or numbers).
4. Post up your results.
5.BONUS POINTS: Upload your mix (whether it's individual songs or a .zip of all the the songs) and include the mix in your post.

"J-E-N-O-V-A (Final Fantasy VII)" by the Black Mages
"Loneliness" by Annie Lennox
"Sanctuary" by Hikaru Utada
"Invoke" by T.M.Revolution
"Gabriel" by Lamb
"Mary Mary (Stigmatic Mix)" by Chumbawamba
"Advent: One Winged Angel" by Nobuo Uematsu
"Not Enough" by Van Halen

And here's the download. It's a 55MB file, so procede with caution.

OMG OMG OMG OMG

Just found Myxer Tones.com, and I could get myself in trouble with text message fees. :-p It lets you make free ringtones from MP3s you have. So, what did I do first?

"Advent: One Winged Angel", of course. ;-)

And it started it at the perfect place, where the chorus comes in. :-p

*closes the webpage before she gets herself in trouble*

*cackling madly*

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Skulking on the hotel lobby, carrying a bladed baseball bat, cometh JLSigman! And she gives a cruel scream: "Vengeance and goo flow from my veins! I tear into the enemy until Satan himself emerges from the pit to thank me!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

WARNING: Much nonsense, hilarity, and general manic behavior are about to be displayed.

HYDE and TM are HERE!! *smooches both*

So my new boss, who is technically my old old boss and is about to be my new boss (and no, I won't get fooled again), calls me into his office to hand out the pay raise and bonus info. He hands me a letter, which basically states, "Congrats, you're pay is going up [eh]%, so you're now making [a few hundred more a year than before]. You will also find your bonus, which will be [HOLY SHIT OMGZ] before taxes."

So I will take HOLYSHITOMGZ after taxes and pay off the computer I bought in September, then go get my eyes checked for the first time in a couple of years (bad me, I know), get some new supportive undergarments, sock a good bit into savings, and then buy some books.

Boss unit also informed me that my title would be changing from Help Desk Administrator, which I already knew, but not to PC Support Technician. "That is so 90's." (YES, he really said that~!) Instead, they're working it out with HR to call me a Technical Support Analyst. Sounds good, anyways. ;-)

Then I get home and HYDE AND TM ARE WAITING FOR ME! *smooches them again* There is also probably the most hilarious mailing I have ever gotten, which had on the front, "God told me to give you this loan" and a couple of paragraphs about a prophecy and a holy handkerchief inside for answering prayers if I give them money. I wish I was making this up. ;-)

So, I am good. I don't know what all to do with this good, because it doesn't happen often, but I will try to be good with my good.

My japanese name is 石丸 Ishimaru (round stone) 美晴 Miharu (beautiful clear sky).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Right now, I'm at the "I want to be doing anything but this, anywhere but here" stage.

Unfortunately, I cannot take much of any pay cut right now, considering my outstanding medical bills and stupid credit card debt.

*whaps self for getting self into this position*

As free human beings we can use our unique intelligence to try to understand ourselves and our world. But if we are prevented from using our creative potential, we are deprived of one of the basic characteristics of a human being.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Maybe that's why I'm all about the rage right now... work is most definitely preventing this.

I had no idea Amazon.com took checks! I could be in trouble... ;-) Today I bought 3 CDs:

Faith by Hyde
Verticle Infinity by T.M.Revolution
and Momentary Lapse of Reason by Pink Floyd, to replace my disk that got broken years ago.

Got my federal refund, which I promptly sent most of to my credit card company, so they'll quit calling me at 8:30am on Sundays. :-p

State will hopefully be here by Tuesday.

Any pay raise or bonus should be in the next couple of weeks.

I pay off the car in May.

*phew* I may actually come out of this alive. :-p

Went to Drugs.com to see more about Coumadin, since my dose has been increased again because my blood's not quite thing enough. Found out this interesting bit of information... "Avoid eating cranberries, drinking cranberry juice, or taking cranberry herbal products"

You mean the juice I drink every morning. *headdesk*

Pick your favorite wrestling news site, and you'll read that Mike Awesome killed himself Saturday.

What a shame. I really, really liked him. Gone waaay too young.

I hope he has found peace.

Well, what all did I do today?

#2 - Went to Wal-Mart and picked up some Purina Cat Chow senior formula (Goldeneye is 9 1/2, the twins are 7 1/2). So far, they seem to like it, we'll see how it reacts to Sweet Thing's sensitive digestive track. :-p

#4 - Good grief, there was food scattered for yards. :-p

#7 - And I'm getting a decent amount back, close to $1000. The state will go straight into savings, the federal will get mostly thrown at my credit card.

#12 - Well, I didn't bake it, but I created it... last week I made these little cheesecake things out of a Paula Dean cookbook, and still had some leftover. So I bought a graham cracker crust (note to self, do not buy the Wal-Mart brand ever again, it crumbled to dust) and some chocolate pudding, lined the bottom with the leftover cheesecake things, and poured the pudding on top. Got rave reviews from my parents. :-)

And added #14 - Take a shower and wash my hair. That can be a chore. ;-)

Let's see... so far I've done:

#1 - Got the groceries, new mouse, new sweats, and added a new clock radio/CD player. My old one was at least 15 years old, and the volume was screwed up. This one is much better. ;-)

#3 - Kept a little of the Silent Hill 2 soundtrack, but not much, as well as some new Overclock Remix and Anime Remix stuff.

#8 - Holy incredible stories, Batman! What amazing, painful, wonderful writing.

#9 - I've been neglecting that game as of late, so I'm glad I got this done.

#10 - Gave up. Bosses with instant-kill spells annoy me, especially when said bosses are impossible to kill before they whip the spell out. I'll come back to it another time.

Added #13, the laundry. Washed, dried, and put up. Tried to do #2, but the only bags of food they had were the $17 ones, and I don't have that much money. :-p

(kicks Blogger for forcing me to upgrade to a rather crappy GUI new version and do all kinds of new sign-up and sign-in crap)

Anyways...

Here's what I need to do this weekend... I'm being very Virgo, making lists and all. Beside, when my horoscope says, "Organize your information, sort through your files and clean out your messy closets. But do it with style, for you now get to be as weird as you wish by indulging your need to rearrange your living space. Don't worry about involving others; this isn't about anyone else. An early spring cleaning always makes you feel better.", I should probably listen. ;-)

1) Go grocery shopping (going to Wal-Mart, need a new mouse and some new sweats for working out)
2) Buy cat food (Eukanuba senior brand)
3) Finish listening to all the music I downloaded yesterday (no offense to "Silent Hill" fans, but the music is muchly overrated IMO)
4) Vaccuum the home office (Goldeneye and Sweet Thing were chasing each other around last night and overturned one of the food bowls)
5) Vaccuum the living room
6) Vaccuum my bedroom
7) Get my tax crap together and file my taxes so I can get my credit card company off of my ass
8) Watch the rest of disk 2 of seasons 2 of "Angel"
9) Level up my Aardwolf character, Refinnej, to at least level 131.
10) Decide if I'm going to finish up Vagrant Story, or if I'm going to give up for now.
11) Decide if I can put up with the horrifyingly bad music in Phantasy Star II or if I should just try another one of the RPGs in that Sega collection.
12) Bake something

I think that was everything I needed to do...

Nothing earth-shattering to this post. Just wanted to make a quick, random comment that music fucking rules.

Carry on.

This is the best thing lately. Now I can access my home computer from work. hehehehehehe... I so sneaky...

Quick rant because I'm hormonal and pissed off...

HEY NETFLIX!! How FUCKING HARD is it to actually look at the fucking DVDs before you put them in the white sleeves and send them out?? HELLO? I wanted season 2 disk 2, the white sleeve said season 2 disk 2, the DVD inside CLEARLY SAID DISK 1.

I swear, I'm going to try Blockbuster for free very soon if this shit doesn't get any better...

(People of the not-female persuasion may want to turn away...)

Another reason why I loved being on hormones and not menstruating for 5+ years - PMS sucks ass. My brain is so hormone soaked I'm easily distracting by stupid shit, or even nothing at all. I've made a couple of really stupid mistakes at work that I normally wouldn't. I hate it.

Bush does "Sunday, Bloody Sunday"

I don't know how accurate it is, since I didn't watch the State of the Union, but this is awesome.

I get some newsletters from Beliefnet, and one of them had a "Which archangel are you?" No codes to paste, so I just C&P'd the text.

You are Raphael, Archangel of the East. Though not recognized by the Protestant Church, you are officially recognized as one of three archangels by the Catholic Church. In two books of apocrypha, you have prominent roles. In the Book of Tobit you heal a blind beggar and you serve as a guide for the prophet Tobias. In the Book of Enoch (10:4-8), you cast one of Satan's fallen angels, Azazel, into darkness. Gentle, compassionate, and skillful you are passionate about curing people's sicknesses and providing them with healthier lives. Those who seek emotional and physical healing look to you as their patron. You share an archangel feast day with Michael and Gabriel on September 29.

IT'S SNOWING!!!!!

And I don't have any goddamned batteries for my camera that work... ARG!

EDIT: OK, I tore the kitchen junk drawer apart and found a couple. Now I need to find the camera cable... found it!

EDIT2: Pics!
From the front porch, looking right towards the azalea bush.
From the front porch, looking straight ahead.
From the front porch, looking left over two of my neighbors' yards.
From the back porch, left to the mutantly huge azalea bush.
From the back porch, straight ahead between the pines to the swing set. You can see it's already coloring the ground and not melting.
From the back porch, slightly left. I was sorta trying to catch a bird in flight, and ended up with a really great shot of just how fat the snowflakes are.

And no, I'm not going to work. They haven't called it all the way off yet, but it's already iced my porches over, and I'm not taking any chances with idiot drivers who don't know how to handle this stuff.

EDIT3: After about 45 minutes or so of steady snow, it's now switched back over to ice pellets. Few more pics, taken 9:15am (others were taken about 8:15am).
Front porch, same angle as the second picture above.
Back porch, another shot of the mutant azalea bush, you can see the snow all around it
Snow sticking to my mutant azalea.

target="_blank">width="200" height="100" border="0">



Which Final Fantasy Character Are You?



Final Fantasy 7

Had a blood draw this morning to check my levels, and the news wasn't as good as it could have been. It's gotten low (too thick), so they're upping the Coumadin to 7.5mg three times a week, and 5mg the rest of the week.

But in good news, I've started to take advantage of the free gym here at work. Right now I'm just walking or biking for 20 minutes a day, but I hope to increase that eventually. I just have to balance it with the arthritis and pain thereof, since I can't take any anti-inflammatory drugs (like Advil) while I'm on the blood thinners.

You know the Bible 100%!

 

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

Considering both my grandfather and my mother were Lutheran pastors, and how well I remember what I read, I'm not surprised...

What Fantasy Archetype Are you?
The Seasoned Veteran Friend You are the Seasoned Veteran Friend! You resemble Aragorn (Lord of The Rings), Merlin (Arthurian Legend), Han Solo (Star Wars), The Marquis (Neverwhere), Sirius Black (Harry Potter) and Chase (Wizard's First Rule). You are exceedingly loyal, tricky and hardy. You regularly pull the Unlikely Hero, Mentor and Pillor-of-Strength Love Interest out of trouble and into safety. Beware The Traitor, who will make your job intensely difficult. And don't coddle the Unlikely Hero too much, he has to learn how to fend for himself. Anyway, everyone admires you and your resourcefullness / reliability - good going!
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

I'm not normally one to embed, but this just has to get out to everyone possible. Olbermann make Bush his bitch.

So I'm sitting here at work, listening to music, and I'm wondering why my pacer seems to be slamming my heart a bit. It feels like when I'm at the clinic getting checked, when they put big magnets on my chest.

So then I look at the headphones.

Headphones use magnets.

*headdesk*

Got there about 15 minutes early, despite my pulling into the wrong parking lot twice (there's about a ton of little doctor's office around the hospital, and a complete lack of street numbers on most of them). Filled out the paperwork and waited.

Not too long afterwards, they call me in to put my pacemaker through it's paces. The nurse puts a ring with a magnet in it over the pacemaker so the computer can read it, then she jacks my heart rate up to 100 for several minutes, then she purposely mis-fires the leads a couple of times. "Oh, most people don't feel anything." Well, I am not most people, and feel the two misfires VERY much. Not so much as pain, as just a very weird sensation that goes from my chest to my throat.

When that bit of torture is finally done, I go back to the waiting room to wait for a room to come available. Then it's move into the room and wait some more. A young female nurse comes in to get the info for my chart, then takes my blood pressure. She gives me a weird look and says, "I'm not hearing this right, let me get someone else in here." So I wait, and eventually an older female nurse comes in and tries again. "Do you normally have low blood pressure? It's 95 over 60." I answer yes, so she goes out and the previous nurse comes back in, and it's time for an EKG. It takes longer to put all the stickies on than it does to do the test, then it's time to rip them all off again. (sigh)

More waiting, then a nurse comes and says the doctor wants a chest X-ray, too. So off to the X-ray room for a couple of those. Then back to the room to wait.

About 4pm (appointment was at 2:30) I see Dr. Baugh, and we chat, he says I look great, he picks a bit of suture that's sticking out of the mostly-healed incision, he says he'll see me in a year.

Thankfully, this all was considered a post-operative follow-up visit, so I didn't have to pay a thing. I'll be getting a schedule in the mail of when to have my pacemaker phone their system, and when to come in for more checks.

Less stress in my life already... I'll be getting a full paycheck from work Friday. I was worried I'd get little or nothing, since the stupid hospital doctor's office took 10 fucking days to fill out 5 lines of a two-page form. :-p

I also cooked this weekend! Go me! ;-) A simple meat and cheese pie-like dish from off the BisQuick box, but still.

Back at work today... some things have changed, most have not. It's always interesting to see a place with new eyes, after being gone for a long time.

I go to the cardiologist in about 45 minutes... should be nothing. I keep saying that. :-p

Bush has said he will announce his new blueprint for the war in Iraq "sometime next week."

Well, the guy who thumbed his nose at his daddy is dead, so whatcha wanna bet it's time for us to leave? :-p

4 entries in a row! Let's see if I can make this a habit...

After beating the incredibly disappointing .hack//G.U. early this week, I decided what I needed was to go visit old friends. So I grabbed my copy of Final Fantasy VIII and got reacquainted with the gang. I don't think I've actually played it through to the end since I had it for the PC 5 or so years ago. It's a wonderful story with a very unique playing style that is frowned upon by way too many people.

Up next is Vagrant Story, which I understand is set in the same world as Final Fantasy Tactics and Final Fantasy XII. I hated Tactics but consider XII the game of the year, so we'll see where this one falls.

Some people you just have to thank in person. So today, when I passed by the Urgent Care on my way to the post office, I thought, "I need to go tell Dr. Wingo he saved my life."

So I did. I went in, asked for him, went back to the nurse's station, and shook his hand. He was surprised to hear I ended up with a pacemaker. We chatted for a minute, then he had to get back to his work. I also talked to the nurse who put the IV line in my arm, which lasted for way longer than it had any right to.

Good works deserve rewards.

After the past few days where the temperature never got below the mid 50's, it's actually fairly cold outside now. The climate changes are getting more pronounced... Mom has gold finches a couple steps removed from full mating color, and it's JANUARY.

A hope for the new year...

By this invocation of peace may peace bring peace!
With this peace the dreadful I now appease,
with this peace the cruel I now appease,
with this peace all evil I now appease,
so that peace may prevail, happiness prevail!
May everything for us be peaceful!

-Athara Veda

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

*punts 2006 out the door*

A couple small resolutions...

1) Stress less about money. It's impossible to never stress about it, but it doesn't need to be something I think about every single day.

2) Cook more. Now that I have a working range and oven, I need to get into the habit of cooking things on the weekend I can eat off of during the week. This will help with the money stress, since I won't be so tempted to eat out for lunch all the time.

Enjoy the day!

At home full time now. YAY!!!

I'm hanging in there, continuing to recover. My bad shoulder still screams a lot, but my range of motion is getting better every day. The skin on my chest is healed up from being ripped off by all the tape, but I've still got a fairly spectacular collection of bruises.

Just taking it one day at a time...

I am out of the hospital now... and I stay out of work until January 8th or 9th. I see my doctor tomorrow, and the cardiologist on the 8th.

More later... my shoulder is sore. Thanks for everything. :-)

It's amazing how things work sometimes.

Tuesday night I have a little pain in my chest when I breathe, but I had come home to a house covered in cat spit up, so I wrote it off as exhaustion and went to bed. The next day, I couldn't walk across the hall to the meeting room without gasping for air. I just thought it was a chest cold, or maybe bronchitis, so I told my boss I was heading to the Urgent Care for some antibiotics and maybe an inhaler, and would be back in a few hours.

Not exactly.

The doctor liked neither my breathing nor my history, so he ordered EKG and a CT-Angiogram. The EKG didn't show anything. The CT scan showed multiple clots on my heart and lungs. One ambulance ride to the hospital later... a doppler of my legs didn't show anything in there, and a sonogram of my heart didn't show anything. So we started the blood thinner cycle, I go on a heart monitor, and I started thinking about how I was going to have to get off of the hormones and start menstruating again, which sucks.

Friday afternoon Dr. Albert, brother of the Dr. Albert who's fixed my guts the last few years, comes in with a bad look on his face. Apparently my heart stops beating for 3 - 4 seconds at a time. Next thing I know, I'm getting a pace maker put in.

Yes, a pace maker. At 31. For probably the rest of my life.

I have noticed some improvements already, in blood flow and coloring. The only concern left over is that my heart rate seems to hover around 120 beats per minute.

I don't know how much longer I'll be here, probably a few more days until my blood is thin enough for them. We won't talk about money and paychecks.

But, if I hadn't been in here for a blood clot, I never would have known.

You are pure awareness.

The world is an illusion,
Nothing more.

When you understand this fully,
Desire falls away.

You find peace.

For indeed!
There is nothing.

Ashtavakra Gita 15:17

To the Divine Goddess who resides in all existence in the form of Confusion, we bow to Her; we bow to Her; we bow to Her, continually we bow, we bow.

Presiding over the senses of all beings and pervading all existence, to the Omnipresent Goddess who individualizes creation we bow, we bow.

In the form of Consciousness She distinguishes the individual phenomena of the perceivable universe. We bow to Her; we bow to Her; we bow to Her; we bow to Her, continually we bow, we bow.

-Chandi Patha

To everyone of us there must come a time when the whole universe will be found to have been a dream, when we find the soul is infinitely better than the surroundings. It is only a question of time, and time is nothing in the infinite.

-Sai Baba

I have bought a ticket for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert here in Columbia on the 13th of December~!!!

*dances around the room*

Yes, I probably shouldn't have, considering the boss has taken away all our overtime and all, but damn... I missed them the last couple of years because of hospital stays and such, and I am NOT missing them this time!

Depression sucks, and leaves you without much of anything to write about.

I'll be OK, though... I have my kitties to purr in my bed with me.

Your Vocabulary Score: B+

You have a zealous love for the English language, and many find your vocabulary edifying. Don't fret that you didn't get every word right, your vocabulary can be easily ameliorated!

How's Your Vocabulary?

I swear, I've got candidates calling me every hour or two. :-p

No matter how bad a state of mind you may get into, if you keep strong and hold out, eventually the floating clouds must vanish and the withering wind must cease.

-Dogen


That about sums up work right now...

Yesterday I get a certificate from the Accounting department in thanks for "being available to quickly solve our computer problems and issues, making sure people are back to work with little delay, and for always maintaining a truly positive attitude".

Today my boss says I'm answering too many calls, that I need to give out the more long-term and research-involved calls to others, and here's a bunch of projects we want you to do, including a newsletter and learning how to run EPO...

...so you don't have time to answer so many calls so quickly...

*rolls eyes*

Look into the sphere of birthless mind!
Let dawn the enjoyment of ceaseless play!
When free of hope and fear--that's the result.
Why speak of birth and death?
Come to the natural, unmodified state!

-Drinking the Mountain Stream: Songs of Tibet's Beloved Saint, Milarepa

I find it pathetic, when it's not rage-inducing, that neither my boss nor her boss trust their underlings to do work, and have to constantly harass, hound, and threaten with dicipline unless things are done.

Inpired while toweling dry from a shower:

Long lines of tissue
Up and down, across and back
Define who I am

*giggling madly*

I think Microsoft's been Slashdotted. ;-) I'm trying to download the new IE 7.0 release to test here at work, and my T3 is fighting to download it at 10KB a second. This may be the slowest 14MB download in a long time. ;-)

I am so fucking tired of being left out at work. Whether is lunches, meetings, just general knowledge, whatever. When shit work needs to be done, oh, I'm there. Otherwise, I'm not.

Everything's about to change at work, either for better or worse... our new VP & Chief Technology Officer starts Monday. I no longer believe in the platitude, "Things can't get worse," because believe me, they can. I just need to keep the following in mind...

There is no fire like greed and no crime like hatred. There is no sorrow like being bound to this world; there is no happiness like freedom.

-Dhammapada

I am professional. I am above petty politics. I get my work done and don't expect others to finish what I start. If he can't see that, then I will move on.

Lou Dobbs tells middle-class America to wake the fuck up

From the article...

Individual firms, corporations and national organizations spent a record $2.14 billion on lobbying members of Congress and 220 other federal agencies in 2004, according to PoliticalMoneyLine. That's nearly $6 million a day spent to influence our leaders. We really do have the best government money can buy.

So, did you contribute to that? I didn't think so...

Adventures in corporate stupidity...

We use a program called Shavlik to push out Windows and Office updates. It needs to be renewed every year, and it's going to come due in about 3 weeks. Last week I got in touch with Shavlik in order to start the process. Now, we're a multi-billion dollar commercial real estate company, but we don't have any kind of corporate credit card to pay for these things with, so we asked for a purchase order. We get it, fill it out, hand it to corporate accounting so they can cut a check.

Corporate accounting decided that they don't cut checks from POs anymore, they have to have an invoice. Shavlik needs a filled out PO to send an invoice. So, what do you think happened next?

If you said, "Corporate accounting sent Shavlik the PO so they could get an invoice," you would be WRONG.

Corporate accounting sent an email to my boss late Friday saying Shavlik needed a PO until they could send an invoice. Corporate accounting calls me today asking if I'd seen the email. I said yes, but the director is on vacation, how can I help? They want a PO. I said we gave them a PO. They said they'll make a copy of the PO and drop it by me so I can send it to Shavlik for them and get an invoice that they'll pay.

*headdesk*

NuclearPower is the home of 8-bit theater, a web comic that is rapidly becoming one of my favorites, if only because of the following punchline...



*dies of giggling*

I was putting together a music list to go to sleep to last night, and found that Dell had plunked a bunch of free music onto the hard drive. Most of it is crap, but there's been a couple of interesting things. One of them was a song by Guy Forsythe called "Long Long Time". Mostly it's him talking over the music, but it's an incredibly biting look at American society. The last line is this:

I wonder how the world sees us, rich beyond compare, powerful without equal? A spoiled 15 year old waving a gun in their face?

Yeah, basically, fuck you very much President Bush and Co....

When we are firmly established in nonviolence, all beings around us cease to feel hostility. When we are firmly established in truthfulness, action accomplishes its desired end.

When we are firmly established in integrity, all riches present themselves freely. When we are firmly established in chastity, subtle potency is generated. When we are established in nonattachment, the nature and purpose of existence is understood.

-The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali 2: 35-39

The Republicans:

They put an Arabian Horse Judge in charge of disaster management.
They put oil company lobbyists in charge of our energy policy.
They put Dubai in charge of our port security.
And they put a child predator in charge of the Committee for Missing and Exploited Children.
Who will you put in charge in November?

And the Broken Oaths meme:
"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Repost. Remind. Remember.

How White and Nerdy Are You?

So after moping about it for way too long, I've grabbed myself by the scruff of the neck and started doing something about what's been making me most unhappy lately. I've got three vouchers for three Office certification tests, and I'm spending all my free time at work plowing through as much of the free online training as I can manage.

I'm still waiting for the shit to hit the fan where I am, but at least now I know where my path leads for the next couple of months.

*puts on my best Vampire Willow face*

Bored now...

Absolute best shitty translation EVER...

Publicons.de is a German page that does those neat little "Fan of" icon things that you see people use all over the place. I ran it though Google's translation thing just to get a better idea of what it does, and it spit out this wonderful bit of mis-translation...

Retarded treatment of Sponsoring inquiries
Between that 09.09.2006 and that 16.09.2006 it can come in the course of a revision of our Sponsoringsystems to delays in the completion of E-Mail inquiries. No message is lost, does not surprise you however please nevertheless not, if an answer takes time some days.

*falls over and dies laughing*

Hmmm, guess I should catch up...

1) Birthday went good, except for the Panthers getting their asses kicked by the Falcons. The final tally was: $20, a new coffee pot, "Sims 2", "Dragon Quest VIII", and a pasta cook book.

2) Been a bit down/out of it/sick since then. Part of it is my arthritis, part of it is my sinuses, and part of it is despising the people I work with. I'm doing what I can about all those situations.

3) New computer is amazing.

4) Buffy season 4 starts out like shit, but I'm told it gets better, so I'm hanging in there.

That's all I can think of for now.

*coming up for air*

Computer is working wonderfully, in the process of transferring and uninstalling and reinstalling and all that jazz. Be online when I can. :-)

There's something about J-Pop that is so inherantly joyful... I put on what little I have, mostly the incredible T.M.Revolution, and my mood immediately improves. I am a child of the 80's, so I'm probably remembering the pop radio music of those times, which had a similar feel.

"Sometimes I catch and hold
love and pain, tightly in my arms.
It will fade away, but
I will remember it... Always...."
- "Radical Dreamers", Yasunori Mitsuda

Hey, yo, these are some serious times that we living through
And a new world order is about to begin
You know what I’m saying?
Now the question is are you ready
For the real revolution
Which is the evolution of the mind?
If you seek then you shall find
That we all prove from the divine
You dig what I’m saying?
Now if you take heed
To the words of wisdom
That are written on the walls of life
Then universally we will stand
And divided we will fall
'Cause love conquers all
You understand what I’m saying?
This is a call to all you sleeping souls
Wake up, and take control of your own cipher
And be on the look out for the spirits tonight
Trying to steal your light
You know what I’m saying?
Look what beside yourself
For peace
Give thanks
Live life
And release
You dig me?
You got me
- "He Got Game", Public Enemy

Well, by this time next week, I should have a new home computer. This one is dying, and it was cheaper to buy another one than to repair and upgrade this 4 year old one. Looking forward to being able to Sim. ;-)

Guess who's getting that burning excruciating pain in her left shoulder again?

*sighs*

*eyeballs Vicodin*

*makes note to call doctor*

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day does a very good job of illustrating our solar system and gives a good visual reason for the demotion of Pluto. Be warned, though... when it says click on the picture for a bigger version, they're not kidding: the original is 1.3MB, 6000+ x 3500ish pixels. Perfect for teaching aids, if you've got a big color plotter than can handle something like that.

Between August 7th and August 19th, I closed 235 help desk tickets and worked 17.5 hours of overtime.

No wonder I'm exhausted. :-p

On Normal difficulty, it took me 11 hours and 30 minutes to beat Dirge of Cerberus.

*lets that sink in*

This was disappointing. The story takes a left turn into WTF land during Chapter 11 and never comes back. There are some cringe-inducing, eye-rolling dialog and stuff that really trashes the FF VII gang at the end.

About the only real good thing was the introduction of Shelke, who is a rather interesting character... too bad she was mostly fan service and sicko jail bait (19 year old mind, 10 year old body! File this under "I'll pretend you said you were 19..."). :-p

I can take bits and pieces of this, mostly bits that are casually mentioned by various minor characters, and incorporate it into my personal writings, but man... I never thought I'd say this about a Final Fantasy game...

This suxx0red.

About 2 1/2 "chapters" into Dirge of Cerberus... mixed feelings so far:
- It's very pretty graphically.
- The voices are OK, although I still long for a Japanese subtitled version, since Vincent's voice is better, and admittedly I haven't had to hear Cid's south Texas drawl yet (rant pending, I'm sure).
- The controls are a pain in the butt. I think I have the difficulty with the targeting system mostly figured out (ramp up the speed and turn on automatic tartget locking), but for a shooting game it's rather inaccurate.
- I haven't seen enough of the story yet to make much of a judgement, but the new characters are fairly interesting.
- The music is very good... Masashi Hamauzu did some of my favorite tracks from FF X (Crisis, Challenge, Assault... notice a theme here? *grin*), and does an incredibly job with the whole score here. He ever made me like a Gackt song, which I had never thought would happen.

More updates on it as I go along... although I think I've figured out Weiss's secret already. ;-)

I don't get it... all of the gaming sites, SquareE's webpage, and even my local newspaper say Dirge of Cerberus comes out today. But... not really, according to the Game Stop store. It only ships today. It's not actually available until tomorrow.

So, why say it's out today?

Oi...

You never realize just how ambidextrous you are until you toast your bad shoulder during 11+ hours of weekend overtime...

If you want to know why I haven't been posting much lately... it's work. Here's an example from my weekly status report:

August 1 to August 7, I worked Tuesday, half of Wednesday, off Thursday, half of Friday, and all of Monday. In those basically 3 whole business days I opened and closed 94 help desk calls.

My co-worker can barely do one thing, and is completely incapable of multi-tasking OR remembering something you told him how to do the day before. My new boss is convinced she's overwhelmed, so I'm doing half of her job for her, and getting yelled at for it.

Meanwhile, I have a sinus and ear infection that won't clear up (wonder why?).

I'm stymied, creatively. I have this character in my head who desperately needs to be written, who deserves life, and I can't get her on the page because I'm too busy and too exhausted.

Meanwhile, Mom's been diagnosed with small vessel disease in her brain (and heart, too, probably) and fears she'll come down with dementia in the next 5 years. She'll be 61 Friday. So she's pushing for us to live together, and while that may work for her, it really would not work for me. But I feel guilt, because I really will be the one who'll have to take care of her since I don't have my own family, and my being sick just pushes her to push me more.

So... I'm snarly a lot. If you can't deal with that, don't try to talk to me, I cannot gaurentee I will always be my usual polite self.

I know, it's terrible that I should ask this but... can someone point me to where I can find cheats for NES roms? Specifically FF 3 (j)? I have gotten to one point where I literally cannot get past because the mobs split when you hit them and you can never run/escape from them. :-p

Otherwise, I'm OK...

Get your own spectral analysis from Area 23®

I need a new job.

After three good days of training, I've been here 3 hours, and I'm already so pissed off that I'm getting a migraine.

Clean bathroom: Check!
Clean laundry: Check!
Clean self: Check!

OK, I've gotten everything accomplished for the day, how about you? ;-)

Why the hell are politicians in my state such fucktards?

Charleston lawmaker says if he wanted to shoot utility workers, he would have killed them. Here's the full story as to what this moron is in trouble for.

*shakes head* Bad thing is that unless he is convicted and can't run for office, he'll likely just get voted right back in next time...

I've had to retreat the last couple of weeks in order to keep my sanity mostly intact. Between money woes, work stupidity, and the never-ending battle against manic-depression, I just wasn't worth being around.

I'm better than I was now. I've gotten more good sleep recently. Work has gotten even more interesting, with someone who has told other she doesn't like me now being my boss, but I'm willing to be the professional one. I still have no money, but I'm not killing myself over it now.

Life goes on.

Guess what?

My AC is shot. It's 81 in the house. The compressor fan won't turn. The system is ancient.

Anyone got a few to several thousand dollars lying around to replace it? Because I can tell you know that's what will need to happen.

No Dragon*Con this year. Or next, at the rate I'm going...

Self-control will place a man among the Gods,
While lack of it will lead him into deepest darkness.

-Tirukkural 13:121

Let there be nothing behind you; leave the future to one side. Do not clutch at what is left in the middle; then you will become a wanderer and calm.

-Sutta Nipata