1. List three words to describe yourself.
Tired, scarred, strong
2. List three words to describe your job.
Interesting, frustrating, hellish
3. List three words to describe your computer.
Good, mine, useful

Happy birthday, Tam! Sorry it's late, I haven't been in a good mood for a couple of weeks. :-p

I've been down, then caught a cold, and now I have a pulled muscle in my lower abdomen. At least, that's what it better be, I don't have the time for another 25-day hospital stay with pouch problems. *sigh*

Your sign of frustration is....Ignoring! Instead
of dealing with problems, you ignore them.
Your theory to problems, is that if I pretend
they are not there, they'll disappear.
Sometimes this method can work, but most of the
time it doesn't. For a variety sometime, try
using one of the other methods, which are
discussed in this quiz. It might feel good!


What sign of frustration are you?
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Yup, that would be me.

Aphrodite/Eros


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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(not that he's paying attention)

You're Skittles!!! You have a very interesting
personality, you're so unique. You're the kind
of person who always thinks outside of the box.
You're also a very accepting individual, and
believe in inner beauty.


Which kind of candy are you?
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You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
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Duty and Loyalty: You serve your purpose and do
what you must do. People would consider you
someone to rely on, and one who keeps his/her
word when he/she gives it.


Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Spearmint.
You are quick-witted and sharp. You pay close
attention to details and you can tell what your
friends are feeling. You are always the first
to understand a joke and you are valued for
your insight and advice. However, you
sometimes isolate yourself from other people,
afraid to share your own feelings.
Most Compatible With: Cinnamon


Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You know your boss cares and is worried about you walking at night when he gives you pepper spray for Christmas.

Saddam Hussein has been captured.

If you've turned on a radio or a television in the last couple of hours, you know this. I know it's front and center on CNN.com, I'm sure it is on your news website of choice. Iraqi's are celebrating, the administration is hearing up to bat itself on the back, and this is generally seen as a Good Thing.

And it is, don't get me wrong. Capturing the guy relieves a lot of headaches. But it's also about to create some more, because now the question is: what do we do with him?

Once they get done pumping information out of him, the US will hand him over to the Iraqi government, no doubt. And while I'm all for wrapping him in many and various pork products and torching his sorry ass, that wouldn't go over well with too many other people. Is there a way to execute him (which he deserves) without making him a martyr? Can you find a cell to put him in for whatever remains of his life that won't be a constant target?

Hard to say. Some folks will use him as a rallying cry no matter what happens.

For now, tho, let's put off those questions until tomorrow. We can be glad it's happened, we can laugh at how he looks like shit, and we can leave tomorrow for tomorrow.

OK, OK, so I haven't written in a while. I haven't done much of anything in a while, except frantically work on this sewing project.

The lady in charge of the copy center is going on about how only a handful of states meet the guildlines for the Bioterrorism stuff. Me: And the chances of an attack really ever happening are...?

Oh, and Miyo's on Harbison REALLY needs to work on their food. I have the Garlic Beef, and I sure didn't taste any garlic. I didn't taste much of anything, really... and the wait staff needs to not vanish off the face of the planet when they serve you. I'm normally a big tipper, but today she got 10%.

PAY ATTENTION!!!

PAY ATTENTION!!!

I wish the teacher would take all the paper she keeps fucking around with so she had no choice but to pay attention. It's so aggrevating, she's dragging the rest of us down. I want to scream, "QUIT BEING STUPID!!!"

I know, I'm smarter than 90+% of the population. But WHY does those 90% always have to be in my MOUS classes?

My fucking God... are people REALLY this FUCKING STUPID??!!??!!??

There's a woman in this Word XP level 2 class who really, REALLY shouldn't be here... she keeps messing up, not paying attention, etc., then the teacher has to go back 5 minutes and re-explain EVERYTHING ALL OVER AGAIN.

I swear, when I do the evaluation, I'm telling them they need to screen their students better. I know everyone's desperate for money, but this is so frustrating.

Happy Thanksgiving, ya'll!

One of my co-workers is talking about the price she's paying for infertility treatments. "It could be $17,000, and no gaurentee!" I'm thinking, "Has anyone told you that if you quit smoking and gain 10 pounds you'll have better luck?" I'm also thinking, "If you turn to an adoption agency, or even DSS, you'll spend less money and I can gaurentee you you'll get a kid out of it."

I close my eyes
Only for a moment
And the moment's gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity

Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind

Same old song
Just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do
Crumbles to the ground
Though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind

Don't hang on
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away
And all your money won't another minute buy

Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind
...in the wind...

Aldor - 1993 to 2003

We're putting Aldor down.

He's blocked up again, and the doctor says that the medicine he gives wouldn't be good for his heart. He's also still got fluid around his lungs. And he's miserable. And he's lived 5 years longer than everyone said he would, considering the heart murmur.

Mom's going to be there with him. I can't do it. I can face my own mortality and laugh, just not anyone else's.

Kahvi woke me up about 4:30am this morning because of a huge freaky storm coming through. I've got 3 more hours of work. *yawning*

OK, ok, obligatory comment on Michael Jackson: just give him a lot of medication and lock him up already. It's been sad to watch him go crazy and do insane things to himself via surgery the last 10 - 15 years. I mean, if you go back and look at the Thriller cover, he was a rather handsome young Black man. Even Bad didn't have him looking too bad. Now he looks like the corpse of some alien.

My friend Dawn (and I promise to post links to everyone else's blog someday...) told a story about someone who had hijacked Keifer Sullivan, then ended with, "Am I abnormal, or is this fucking horrifying? Isn't this sick, disgusting behavior that would normally get you arrested?"

It is.

I remember reading on some message board (Bitch Clique something-or-another) about these girls who would drive down from New Jersey to Cameron, North Carolina, to try to find Matt or Jeff Hardy or Shane Helms. The one time I tried to point out that they were stalking them, they were like, "So? They appreciate their fans and probably like it!"

*boggle*

Can the Carolina Panthers please please please please PLEASE PLEASE learn a way to win a game without giving all their fans heart failure? Good gawd...

Big kudos to the Redskins, who brought their A game today. Great going.

1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space. Mine. Wait, that's not an adjective...

2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer. Republican. Wait, that's not an adjective either, damn...

3. Using three adjectives, describe your favorite hobby/pasttime. eye-straining, challenging, rewarding

4. Using four adjectives, describe your typical day. Long, frustrating, rewarding... can't think of a fourth right now

5. Using five adjectives, describe your ideal life. Comfortable. Repeat 4 mroe times. :-p


"Did I dream
You dreamed about me?...
Here I am
Here I am
Waiting to hold you..."

i dreamed of you. are you ok?

Well, after another 12 hour night of getting up every few hours and waking up as exhausted as I went to bed, I called the doctor and left a message that basically said, "I can't DO this, Sam..."

I can't take anti-histamines during the day and Anti-Vert at night. I am a complete zombie, brain dead, space cadet, no-one's-home-come-back-later. So I didn't take any this morning, and just now I think I've gotten most of the Anti-Vert from 23 hours ago out of my system.

They're sending me to an ENT.

You are "Welcome to the Caribbean, love."
You're more than a little world-weary, but also
intelligent and you keep your head when things
get dodgy. You're everybody's favorite
drinking buddy, but your stubbornness does get
in the way sometimes.


Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow's bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

OK... to all you people who dislike me because I'm skinny, I give a hearty Fuck You. This includes all the people at work who think I shouldn't worry when I weight 115 pounds and then lose 2 or 3 because I can't eat because of nausea.

"Whether you like it, or you don't like it, learn to live with it, 'cause it's the BEST. THING. GOING. TODAY. WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

I am, of course, referring to YOUR NFC South leaders, the Carolina Panthers.

They do need to learn how to win without killing me, tho... those last 5 minutes took at least 10 years off of my life, and I fully expect to wake up with grey hairs in the morning.

But Jake Delhomme is a good kid. He fully fessed up to screwing up in the post-game interview. But he came through with three amazing passes when they needed it most.

And John Kasey is still God.

And how 'bout them Redskins, beating the Seahawks!

I am so exhausted. Too many days and weeks of not good sleep. By not-good, I mean I was drugging myself to sleep with NyQuil or a sleeping pill instead of naturally. Even Melatonin doesn't help much.

1. What food do you like that most people hate? Unsweet tea with lots of lemon. I live in the South, getting fresh unsweet tea in some places takes an act of God.

2. What food do you hate that most people love? Chicken.

3. What famous person, whom many people may find attractive, is most unappealing to you? Gosh, the list goes on and on... Ben Afflick. Brad Pitt. Tom Cruise.

4. What famous person, whom many people may find unappealing, do you find attractive? This I don't know how to answer, I don't know who people consider unappealing.

5. What popular trend baffles you? Most of them. :-p

Good news: Dad has a job!

Bad news: It's a 4-month contract in Minneapolis.

Worse news: He can't telecommute. :-p

I just got back from a shooting range. Shot a 9 millimeter, a 6-shooter revolver, and a 45 magnum.

Um... well, let's just say the target is dead. :-P I'll see if I can get a picture of it.

Tying a tie is Man Magic.

Imagine this: my dad, who is 6 foot 3 inches tall, cleaning over to get a tie around my neck. I'm 5 foot 4 inches short, BTW. Dad even does the steps in slow motion. No go... the information slides from my mind like water through my hands.

Man Magic.

Aldor ate!!! Not as much as I would've liked him to, maybe a half to a third of the half a can of food I put down, but it's a start. I think he'll be OK now. :-)

80 degrees today. 80 FUCKING DEGREES!!! That is not Halloween weather. Bah humbug.

Dean Cain to play Scott Peterson in a movie.

OK, this is just wrong on SO many levels... *shakes head*

Vet called, said that the throwing up is probably just left over from the enima yesterday. Mom and Dad came over and helped me clean out his room, change out his litter pan, and we took up the dry food and left him with a concoction the vet rocmmended: water and chicken noodle soup broth. We'll see how this goes, I can't give him his heart medicine so I'm worried about what all this is doing to him.

I'm'a have to call the vet again... sometime between about 3pm and 7:40pm Aldor had thrown up some very poopy-smelling stuff all over his room, and this morning he hasn't eaten at all. I think he may be trying to tell me something.

I fear for the future of the world...

A girl I kinda know who's a Wildside fan has latched onto Janice and myself because we're older female wrestling fans who like to take pictures. She messages me: "you wouldnt happen to know what to do when you super glue your index and thumb fingers together, would you?"

Me: "Usually, you head to the emergency room... "

Her: "how bout i try to not let my parents know?"

Me: "Read the bottle, it might say something on it"

Her: "ok..hold on..."

In a time of crises, she doesn't read the directions, she doesn't call someone locally for help, she GETS ON THE FUCKING INTERNET????

Aldor went to the vet this morning. He's my 10 1/2 year old cat with a heart problem. Since Monday, he hadn't eaten and hadn't used the litter box. So, throwing on some clothes and slurping half an Ensure, off we go.

Meanwhile, I've been sick since Monday morning myself with some stomach bug that keeps me boderline nauseus. I hate this. Either make me throw up or go the fuck away.

Anyways, we get to the vet, and he takes x-rays and does bloodwork. The bloodwork says he's dehydrated, the x-rays show a constipated cat with fluid on his lungs.

The enima got out two days of poop, I now have some new medicine to try to afford to give him for his heart and lungs.

And I now have no credit card. Again.

The whole left half of my mouth is numb. I asked for another shot of novacaine when the dentist (a WONDERFUL guy) started drilling. I felt just a little too much to be comfortable.

So I used it as an excuse to go get a peanut butter fudge milkshake from Sonic. I can taste it on one side of my mouth. ;-)

I'm readnig all the stuff about the California fires, and I'm wondering why people have built up areas that are prone to fires?

There's also more than a few pictures of people having to be dragged from their burning homes.

You Are Tangerine

You are a beautiful person, in a wistful kind of way. If you could, you would spend all your time daydreaming and writing poetry. You are a tragic beauty.

You are sensitive and caring, and you don't take insults well. You don't smile much, but when you do, you really mean it.

People like to be around you because you are a calming influence. You have an appreciation for all things beautiful, and you probably have some potted plants. You also most likely own a cat.

You like Sundays and hot tea. You will spend your entire life yearning for quiet beauty, which is a rarity in this world, so you read a lot.

Everyone you know thinks you're "nice."

Take the Which Led Zeppelin Song Are You? Quiz

I hate doctors who don't call back. Hate them. Won't go back to them if I can. When I call at 9:45am asking about the two cut-off moles and the fact that the skin around them is red, I WANT A FUCKING ANSWER. I do not want to have to call back 5 hours later and get a fast-talking receptionist who gives me excuses. No, I don't have time to come in today. No, I can't come in tomorrow morning. If you had fucking called me back in a reasonable amount of time, I could have.

Witch gets permission to run a shop. Cool! Now I need to go visit Oslo. ;-)

Lanier Parking Systems
Violations Department

Re: Ticket #47884

To Whom It May Concern:

On October 20th, 2003, I found a ticket envelope on my car, which I have been parking in your Columbia, SC, lot since June 16th. I am stunned that it was there, considering my October 2003 car tag was clearly displayed, as it had been the entire month. How the attendant missed it when he put the envelope under my windshield wipers is something incomprehensible.

Therefore, I am not paying the $12 fee. If you have any questions, you may speak with Myra Brown.


As my favorite T-Shirt says: Do not start with me. You will not win.

Work update: Email is still flaking out. Denial is a major river here.

More Quizilla... I know I seem to do a lot of these, but I hand out a TON of 1's and 2's... the only ones that get here are 5's.


hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Server is down. About 10 minutes and 30+ calls after the fact, the network "gurus" finally decide to make an announcement.

Which half the office doesn't hear, apparently.

Thankfully, my MP3 player is picking out all my Bionic, Eminem, etc., so I won't lose my temper on someone. :-p

I read some of my friends' blogs, and I feel like I'm wasting people's time with mine... guess that's the difference of being single and childless.

Need to email Rebecca, see if she'll let me know ahead of time about anything for Raven's 6th birthday on 11/5.

Need to email Jeremy, see if he's going to be staying in Japan after the current All Japan tour is done.

Why don't people pay for their Ebay auctions? I swear, I go through the time to put stuff up, people win (and for more than just pennies, one this time that's being not paid for was $6), and then they fall off the face of the planet, and I have to go through the trouble of getting the charges reversed and stuff. Look, if you're going to go out of town or something when the auction ends, DON'T BID ON THE DAMN THING!!!!

Friday Five again:

1. Name five things in your refrigerator. Milk, cranberry juice, tea, eggs, Smart Balance

2. Name five things in your freezer. Frozen waffles, frozen garlic bread, some steaks, some ground beef, and frozen dinners

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink. Dishwasher detergent, trash bags, floor cleaner, roach traps, water filtration system

4. Name five things around your computer. Hint book for Pool of Radiance: Ruins of Myth Drannor, little notepads, pens, receipts, bills

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet. Hairbands, spare toothbrush, nail polish remover, hydrogen peroxide, more hairbands (don't use the medicine cabinet for much)

Trans-Siberian Orchestra is coming to Columbia! WOO-HOO!!!! Gotta get a ticket...

Bush order to stop leaks leaked.

I'm still trying to decide if this is actually a joke. ;-)

The dermatologist took two moles off of my back... she's sending them off to be tested, should be nothing. Mom says I got my dad's mother's fair skin despite having dark hair.

School lets girl wear hajib to school after all.

*snickering*

Didn't expect the backlash, did they?

The color printer that's outside my office has been blinknig for a couple of weeks that it was about to need a new drum. My law firm, being the penny pinching idiots that they are, wait until you can't use it to get the hardware guy down here to install a new one.

Except he can't.

The parts that he swears worked last time suddenly don't work this time.

So the only high-capacity color printer for the entire Columbia office (oh, 200+ people, easily) is down. There's one other color printer, a little 2500 somewhere on the 16th floor. Where? God knows...

The weather's gone full circle... when I came in before 8am, it was dark and cloudy and rainy. The sun came out for a little bit, but now it's dark and cloudy and about to be rainy again.

You are Form 6, Elfin: The Wyld.

"And The Elfin saw the evil and
misjudgement in the world and shot her arrow at
the sky. Bolts of lightning struck the earth
and gave the world balance and
growth."

Some examples of the Elfin Form are Demeter (Greek)
and Khepry (Egyptian).
The Elfin is associated with the concept of growth
and balance, the number 6, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the half moon.

As a member of Form 6, you are a very balanced
individual. You can easily adapt to most
situations and you may be a good social
chameleon. You aren't afraid of changes in
your life, but sometimes you evolve too
rapidly, leaving others to think that you are
leaving them behind. Elfin are the best
friends to have because they are open minded.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Back from the doctor... my blood work is all great, cholesterol is "excellent", everything's within norms. Weighed 114 pounds, blood pressure 108/70, pulse fine. I go Thurseday to a local dermatologist to get a couple of moles on my back looked at/removed.

Muslim 11-year-old thrown out of school because she wore the hajib, the head scarf that Muslim girls are supposed to wear once they hit puberty.

I hope the school gets completely slammed... "No head gear because of gang related activities" my ass.

Saw this over on Dawn's blog, thought it looked cool. Oh, Dawn, I don't know if I have Sanitarium lying around right this minute, but if you really want it it'll take about 30 minutes to get a hold of. *innocent look*

1. Do you watch sports? If so, which ones? Yup, pro football and pro wrestling. Do not try to tell me pro wrestling's not a sport. If you say that, you're watching that WWE Sports Entertainment shit. Go watch your local indy group, or Wildside, and THEN try to tell me it's not a sport.

2. What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes? Carolina Panthers (go Stephen Davis!) and the Washinton Redskins (even tho poor Patrick Ramsey is going to die a horrible death against the Bucs).

3. Are there any sports you hate? No, not hate... I don't like to watch baseball much, unless I'm with someone who really likes it, and I have no interest in basketball.

4. Have you ever been to a sports event? Oh good heavens, yes... high school football, college football, Sally league baseball...

5. Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play? Nope, arthritis kept me from playing sports.

Cheney says we're all about to die Or at least a significant portion of us, anyways.

Sorry, buddy, does not distract from the fact that you're still making millions off of Haliburton, and that someone in your White House leaked top secret CIA info, and that ya'll still have no idea how to salvage the economy.

My fellow help desk technician has been on her personal line for AT LEAST the last hour. So I've been answering all the calls.

Now she's going on break.

So, it's Governor Arnold of California?

Thank all that's holy I live on the opposite side of the country from California...

Kahvi will come into my lap when I'm wrapped in the snug-sack, a quilt-like cocoon that I have at the computer since I don't have the heat turned up very high. She seems to like the feel of quilts and comforters. Watched her nip at her brother to get him down is kind of cute, she's not normally agressive.

This morning I had blood drawn by the BEST nurse on the face of the planet, or at least the best one I've been in contact with since I left Palms of Pasadena. She got the butterfly needle without having to be asked or making a fuss, and slid it into my dehydrated vein without a problem. Very cool.

Got to work, tried to say hello to the three women in my co-workers office. Was definitely not invited. *shrug* Whatever.

Kahvi is sitting in my lap.

Now for most cats, this is not a big deal. But I've had Kahvi since the summer of 1999, and she is the most skittish, don't-touch-me cat I have ever known. She won't let me clip her claws (she's the only cat out of 8 I've lived with that I've seriously considered having declawed); she normally flinches if you try to touch her.

But she jumped into my lap just now.

She's jumped back down, but this is a break-through for her. I hope she does it again.

I had a good time at Homecoming last night, mostly because of a young man named Isaac Cornelius.

When I was at the school 10 years ago, his father was the head groundskeeper for Heathwood. A year or two after I left, he died suddenly of a heart attack or stroke or whatever it is around the South that kills barely-middle-aged Black men so suddenly. I have vague memories of his son (he was probably in the 8th grade when I graduated, need to find the yearbook) being a still-slightly babyfat guy playing on the JV football team.

Well, he went and spent 4 years in the Navy after graduating from high school, then left because he was tired of being transferred from base to base to base. He now is getting a degree of some kind from Midlands Technical college, working 3rd shift at a plant or factory here in town, and playing semi-pro ball. I need to find out what team. Luckily, we exchanged numbers and emails, so I can ask him.

As I was leaving, the voice in my head whined that I should have given him my home number (which is busy 75% of the time because I'm online) instead of the cell number. I told the voice to shut up and cranked up the music.

I hate working with gold thread... the metallic kind, I mean. I'm doing this pattern here for my parents for the holidays, and this damn metallic thread frays the regular thread and knots like a bitch. And of course this has the damn stuff ALL through it... *sigh*

Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Heater just kicked in for the first time this season... except for the smell of burning dust, it seems to be working fine. No bad sounds, no cold air. YAY!

Last year, it didn't work, and I woke up to 52 degrees and $300+ to repair it. This one has to last until I can replace this old gas pack thing with something more efficient.

OK, Spiegel and me are gonna fight. Or at least the credit card company that's refusing to close my account...

If anyone out there who reads this has had or is having problems closing their old Siegal account, let me know? I work for a law firm, there's guys here who would cream themselves to have such an easy case. ;-)

Random thoughts this morning...

- The main headline on this morning's paper was "Panel urges shifting power to governor". Of course, that panel was APPOINTED by the governor. Among other things, it suggests that the governor appoint three government positions (like the adjucant general and state superintendant of education) instead of letting us voters vote on it. No thank you.

- October 1st. Wonderfully cool morning, the house temperature is 68 degrees. The heat won't get turned on until it gets to 65 or below this year, because SCE&G has already assured us of higher natural gas prices. Thanks, guys.

- Time to do the fall washing. One load of sweaters, unpacked from the garbage bag they've been in for the past 5 months or so, is already being washed. My washer complained about how the weight most certainly did not qualify as "Delicate cycle". I told the washer to get over it, I need those sweaters to last a while. Also will clean up the big thick comforter to put on the bed.

- Found tapes to learn Japanese on Ebay fairly cheaply. In two weeks I'll work 6 10-hour days, so that paycheck should be able to get me some.

- I'm going to my high school's Homecoming Friday... 10 years since high school. I fully expect none of my classmates to be there.

My much abused MP3/CD player is dying a slow, lingering death, and I'm considering replacements. Like, oh, I don't know, a set of tapes for learning Japanese. Know where I can get those cheap?

Of all places, I heard this song on the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre website... went to find it, found it, need to memorize these lyrics...

SONG TO THE SIREN
On the floating, shipless oceans
I did all my best to smile
'Til your singing eyes and fingers
Drew me loving into your eyes.
And you sang "Sail to me, sail to me;
Let me enfold you."
Here I am, here I am waiting to hold you.
Did I dream you dreamed about me?
Were you here when I was full sail?
Now my foolish boat is leaning, broken lovelorn on your rocks.
For you sang, "Touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow."
Oh my heart, oh my heart shies from the sorrow.
I'm as puzzled as a newborn child.
I'm as riddled as the tide.
Should I stand amid the breakers?
Or shall I lie with death my bride?
Hear me sing: "Swim to me, swim to me, let me enfold you."
"Here I am. Here I am, waiting to hold you."

Finally, Quizilla is running again!


You're Most Like The Season Winter ...

You're often depicted as the cold, distant season.
But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and
Independant. You have an air of power around
you - and that can sometimes scare people off.
You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you
rarely let people in if you can help it. You
can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily
you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be
negative, and hard to relate to, but you give
off a relaxed image despite being insecure -
and secretly many people long to be like you,
not knowing how deep the Winter season really
is.

Well done... You're the most inspirational of
seasons :)


?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

The football-loving Goddess (aka me) is smiling down upon her two teams... both the Redskins and the Panthers played wonderful, fun football and stomped mudholes into their opponents. At least the Patriots put up a fight... the Falcons just let Doug Johnson (who is handsome in a Billy Kidman kinda way) take sack after sack after blitz rush. Who'd'a' thought Dan Reeves would be couching such a one-trick pony team?

Had a bunch of fun doing mostly nothing yesterday... never got dressed, never took my hair out of it's nightly braid, just aimlessly wandered between Aardwolf and Pools of Radiance and the football games. Felt good. Slept good. Ready to face another week.

So they've released a bunch of data about testing and how the schools in South Carolina are doing. Basically, they suck, but we all knew that already. Inez Tennenbaum, the current Superintendent of Education, is already bailing out and concentrating on her Senate run because she knows there's exactly nothing she can do about it.

So, out of morbid curiosity, I went looking for the middle school I went to. Heyward Gibbes Middle School was where some of us Seminary kids went to "learn", where I got beat up, where I was 1 of 5 white girls in the 8th grade, where I picked up my love of rap and R&B.

Total enrollment: 470 students. 7 White, 3 Hispanic, 460 Black.

When they tell you desegregation worked, just laugh.

Continuing adcentures in work:

So we're given a list of all the users (400 or so) on our network. "Ping them all to see if they're in DNS," the network gurus tell us. So we split the list in half and work our way through it.

Then we get new instructions: "Send me the users who aren't in DNS." OK.

More new instructions: "Send me just the ones in Columbia, you call the ones in all the outlying offices and have them refresh and renew their IP." Out of 30, how many have I gotten in touch with? 2.

Even more new instructions: "We think we've fixed some of them, ping everyone again to check."

*pops Advil*

Adventures in work:

Things still are working right... DHCP is still half-hosed, the printer servers won't run half the time, etc. Do the two network "gurus" inform the rest of us what's going on? No. Do they make announcements that we're having some problems but we're working on it and it will be back up soon? No. All we get is silence.

Must be a dick-size thing.

When I worked at DHEC, when the severs went down, all 5 or 6 of us would gather in the room to work on it, so that we all knew what was going on and what to tell users. These two guys won't let us know what's going on, so we on the help desk are the ones who have to tell the users we have no fucking idea what's going on. Which is what they don't want to hear.

I swear, one of these days when things go down, I'm'a forward the help desk line to the computer room. Let them tell the users what's going on.

Adventures in co-workers...

The main woman here on my team who thinks I'm unprofessional, no good, etc., suddenly announces she's taking the rest of the week off. "Oh?" I ask. Another co-worker: "She sent a message about it."

Not to me. Amazing, ain't it?

Adventures in work...

Today the DHCP service decided to die. Repeatedly. Completely. As in too many people (including me!) couldn't do a damn thing over the wire. My boss wouldn't give me straight answers as to what happened... until right before he left for the day.

We're apparently moving and upgrading a server (what is labeled 486 because of what the original machine was) to something that more resembles our name and location. The two network guys, who apparently skipped all the classes in "Real World Application", decided to move some things over to the new server WHILE THEY WERE IN USE. Including the DHCP database. Which, of course, got completely corrupted.

Hello? You move things on weekends when no-one's in them.

Of course, this network is so poorly put together that crashes are expected. Someone would do us a huge favor by taking a grenade or some other low-level explosive and permanently damaging all the servers so things had to be rebuilt from scratch. But then, since the same guys who have been moving the stuff which causes the crashes would re-build it, it probably wouldn't get much better...

A poem after talking to him this morning...


He's going to make me say it
Isn't he?
He won't take the hint
Refuses to take the bait
Puts the ball back in my court

He's going to make me say it
Despite my fears
He'll make me force the words past locked lips
Past frozen fingers
Past a shielded heart
And a guarded soul

He's going to make me say it
I don't know if I should hate him for it

He's going to make me say it
Whether I like it or not.

Killing your parents is bad, I know... but when your dad is acting like a fucking 6-year-old because the cable had to be turned off, and your mother is being a tee-total bitch because of the catheter still in her, it's damn tempting.

It leaves me with no appetite, a headache, and a seriously foul mood.

Better be some damn good wrestling tonight in Cornelia, or someone's not gonna last the night.

I think my little sister has found some religion. Her last couple of emails were full of "Praise the Lord!", and her signature says, "Devoted wife of..." Devoted wife to a user, pot abuser, etc. Bah. As long as she and her husband don't start in on me, they'll be OK.

According to CNN.com, about 3 1/2 MILLION people are without power because of Isabel.

That is pathetic.

If that doesn't prove our energy infrastructure needs a serious overhaul, I don't know what will.

Your Bush is the VILLAGE IDIOT!

For you, all of Bush's antics have one simple
explanation: He's dumber than a bag of hammers.
The lights are on but there's no one home,
and he's got nothing but toys in the
attic. He got almost-elected on the strength of
his face and his last name, and all the hell of
the past 3 years is just what happens when a
man with the intellectual capacity of a
hormone-mad goat is at the helm of the most
powerful nation in the world.


That's Your Bush!
brought to you by Quizilla

Boy, can I vibe with this one...

Yes, I'm avoiding writing about other stuff right now. Bite me.

You're a PANTSER! A pantser writes without
forethought to where the plot is going--sort of
by the seat of her pants method. Youre a free
spirited, creative person. You write with
passion about what inspires you at the moment,
and you probably have a strong voice. Dont
worry about writers block--youve a different
story. Youve got more story seeds than a hive
has bees. When you write, its in disjointed
segments. You may write sequentially or in
flashes of inspiration, where you connect all
your flashes later. People might say you
ramble a bit in your work. Your revision
process might take several passes, because you
really have to whip that first draft into a
more marketable shape. Youre novels either hit
it big or miss. Theres no in between. Readers
either love you, or hate you. Learn to channel
that creative energy into a masterpiece and
well be seeing your name on the NYT Lists!


Find Your Writing Personality!!
brought to you by Quizilla




"Sweet Child o' Mine," a beautiful song
about love and nostalgia.


What Guns n Roses song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm thinking it's pretty cold in Hell right now... not only are BOTH the Redskins and the Panthers 2 - 0, but the Panthers BEAT THE MOTHER FUCKING TAMPA BAY BUCS!!!!

Things may FINALLY be starting to turn around for my two teams. :-)

There was a poll on CNN.com asking if you planned to do anything special for 9/11. I answered no. I fully expect the Office of Homeland Security to be at my door when I go home this evening. ;-p

As of 11:45am, I am 28 years old. Go me! :-)

Adventures in Dell customer service...

I went to Dell's webpage, logged in with my Dell Preferred account, and went to order 2 256MB RAM sticks for this XP Pro memory hog of a machine. They come to my house. I install them. The BIOS tells me it's the wrong type of memory for my computer.

I then spend ONE HOUR on the phone with Dell, at least half of it on hold. First to technical support, who then transfers me to the wrong customer care center, who then transfers me to the correct customer care center, who speaks so mush-mouthed I have to get her to repeat nearly everything she says. This is why you should never out-source your customer support...

When the survey comes in about my online buying experience, Dell is gonna get reamed a new one. So is the customer care support people, since she kept having to put me on hold for minutes at a time just to get a reference number. She said, "We're having a network slowdown." I'm thinking the problem is mostly in-between the chair and keyboard.

So now I get to mail the memory back. Normally, Dell sends someone to pick it up at my house, and I had a hard time convincing the woman that if they couldn't be there between 8am and 9am they wouldn't find anyone home. Supposedly I will be refunded for the postage. I'm just hoping they refund me for the price of the memory.

Will I buy more memory? Eventually... maybe... might not be from Dell...

I wish I had more self-confidence, or wasn't so scared of speaking out sometimes... I'd give a lung sometimes to be able to tell people (him, my mother, my sister, etc.) what I really felt.

You are the Figher Femme


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, I've done it... linked to this thing from my personal homepage. We'll see if that adds one or two more people. ;-)

Dawn, Anastacia ROCKS THE FUCKING HOUSE!!! Oh my God, I need her album like right now. If I get any money or gift cards for Best Buy, that's what I'll grab.

For him...

"Hear my cry
In my hungering search for you
Taste my breath on the wind
See the sky
As it mirrors my colors
Hints and whispers begin

"I am living to nourish you, cherish you
I am pulsing the blood in your veins
Feel the magic and power of surrender to life

"Every finger is touching and searching
Until you secrets emerge
In the dance as it endlessly circles
I linger close to your mouth"

Riverdance

Trying not to drool on my keyboard... about a week ago I was wandering through Ebay looking for "Pirates" stuff when I came across this picture of Orlando Bloom. This amazingly sexy, full-on WOW black-and-white picture of Orly. I'll have to upload it somewhere so I can share.

Adventures at work...

Lawyer calls from our Charlotte office. "What's my user name and password?"

I wish I was joking.

*staring at a blank piece of paper*

Bah... it's in my head fine, what's wrong with my hand?

Adventures at work...

Lawyer calls from home, can't get into our Citrix system. Normally she uses RoadRunner, but it's down, so she's trying to get an ancient laptop to dial in to the server. The modem is there, there is a phone line into it, but when she double-clicks to run Citrix, nothing happens.

I email the hardware guy to have him walk her through some diagnostic stuff, since hardware problems are technically not my problem. He emails me back: Oh, the Citrix server was down this morning, have her dial in again.

Um, hello? Can you be any more obvious that you didn't bother to read the email I sent you?

I send him one back: "When she double-clicks on them, nothing happens. No dialog box, no phone line noise, no attempts to dial, nothing."

NOW he reads the email. "I'll try her." Well, good, thank you for taking time out of your obsessive Bible studying to do some work.

Geez...

CONGRATS you got MOON GODDESS! You can control the
moons light and when is rises and falls. Very
lovely sight and a lovely goddess to be.


Which eternal goddess, above earth controling the elements, are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Wish I could see the other potential answers

Threat rating: Medium. Your total lack of decent
family values makes you dangerous, but we can
count on some right wing nutter blowing you up
if you become too high profile.


What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


*snickering*

(this will be short, Aldor's literally howling to be fed)

Every year about this time, the sky turning from the white haze of summer to the startling blue of fall. Cold fronts start to make their way in, dropping the temperature and humidity from the mid to upper 90's for both into 80's and even lower. There's mist in the mornings.

Happy birthday, Dawn!

Happy birthday to the one who doesn't read this, who I'll never have the guts to let read this. He thinks I'm crazy enough as it is.

I have a quote about this kiss that everyone's posting pictures of... this is for both Britney and Madonna.

"Time went by
It wasn't so easy now
All uphill
And not feeling so strong
Yes, times were hard
Too much thinking 'bout the future
And what people might want

"And then there was the time when she performed
When nobody called fror more
And soon every time she stepped into the light
They really let her know the score..."
Duchess by Genesis

http://typelogic.com/isfj.html

Oh yeah, this is me...

I'm not sure which is worse... sleep deprivation, or the drugged all day feeling when I take a Unisom...

http://money.cnn.com/2003/08/28/news/international/bechtel_halliburton.reut/index.htm

Any more questions as to why America invaded Iraq?

I didn't think so.

From now on, if I need hospital care, I am NOT going to Palmetto Baptist hospital here in Columbia. They're billing department has their collective head so far up their collective asses it's not even funny.

I made a payment plan with them in May for two accounts I ran up in March. In June, when I got another bill for the full amount, I called them about it and got a "computer system problem" excuse. I made payments at the beginning of July (after I got my first Nexsen Pruett paycheck), the beginning of August, and the end of August (I get paid every two weeks, so I make payments every other paycheck). Yesterday I get a bill for one of the accounts saying that if I didn't pay up in 7 days, they were turning it over to a collection agency.

Oh hell no.

It took four calls to two places, but things seem to be straight now. I also have a direct name and number at the hospital to call if I have more problems. But I know an easy way to not have more problems: don't use that hospital.

The nice thing about overtime is the money it puts in the bank.

Paid off another doctor (well, radiology group, actually), which leaves only the local hospital to pay off. YAY!!!

So, I finally broke down and am getting a MedicAlert bracelet. I figure between my re-arranged plumbing and my allerigies (aspirin and sulfa), it's a good idea.

*yawning* Hmmm, bedtime soon...

You are completely against the norm. You rock and
you don't worry about being pretty about it.
You can keep up with the toughest of them
without breaking a sweat.


What Makes you Unique?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ichi - "That one with wisdom"


What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/Movies/08/26/film.thepassion.ap/index.html

OK, maybe I'm stupid, but why is everyone getting their panties in a bunch about this movie? There's been a bunch of movies and television specials about the Crucifixion, why is this one supposed to be any worse? Because it's in language no-one speaks anymore? Last time I watched "Jesus of Nazareth" (the one with Michael York as John the Baptist), it showed the Jews as being the ones who wanted Jesus crucified. Someone help me out here...

http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/08/26/iran.iaea/index.html

So, I guess next year we'll be invading Iran, right? Anything to distract the majority from the fact that it's an election year. ;-)

After the THIRD time Mindspring drops, I take the hint. "OK, God, see me go into the kitchen, put the pizza away, divvy up the 6.55 pounds of ground chuck I bought a few days ago in 1/2 pound batches, load and run the disherwasher."

Domestic Goddess I ain't. Sorry, guys.

ARRRRG!!! FUCK Mindspring and the FUCKING horse it road in on! And while I'm at it, a big FUCK YOU to BellSouth for having crappy phone lines out here.

I had a nice big blog post done and had hit the Post & Publish button, and that's when Mindspring decides to time out and disconnect. POOF! Gone. I can't wait until I can afford DSL...

*stomps off to get more pizza*

I'm going through withdrawal... I forgot my copy of the "Pirates" soundtrack. *uncontrollable shaking*

*sigh*

My half-brother is a computer idiot. He swears he needs Windows XP, when he doesn't. He loads up all this extra Norton crap that he doesn't need, then gets all surprised and upset when it crashes all the time. Funny, I bought that computer for myself almost 5 years ago and it almost never crashed in the years I ran it with Windows 98SE.

As a former friend of mine used to say... it's one of those "error between chair and keyboard" things. ;-)

I didn't kill anyone, as tempting as it was. Whenever Mom and her ex-husband are in the same geographical area, it becomes a twisted game of one-upmanship... who can tell the worst story about something, who REALLY knows what's going on with Heather, who's kids and grandkids are smarter, etc. By the end of the evening I wanted to throw up. I just came home, fed the cats, and collapsed in bed.

Which means I won't be turning on AIM until I get Jeremy's page done. Gods know I'm tired of him calling me a slacker for not getting the work done he wants done.

Might have to go raid the savings account and see a movie or something.

If you come to Columbia, and see a woman in a red Neon holding the steering wheel with one hand and conducting an orchestra with the other, don't panic, it's just me. ;-)

Also, after finishing reading "Order of the Phoenix", I have figured out that I am related to Harry Potter. No, really! His mother's maiden name is Evans. My mother's maiden name is Evans. It would explain a good bit. ;-)

Let's see... today is my nephew Caleb's 2nd birthday. YAY! My mother's ex-husband (my two older half-sibs father) has come down from Maryland to help us celebrate. Yay.

Hmmm... I probably better hurry up and rip this copy of the "Pirates" soundtrack to my hard drive before I wear out the CD. ;-)

It's always kinda funny/sad/interesting to listen to the other women at work talk to each other. I have so little in common with them that I'm not usually included in these dicussions. They talk about husbands, either the ones they're divorcing, or the ones they're staying with despite numerous infidelities because they found themselves pregnant, or the one they've been married to forever that they just despise. They talk about children, the rebel ones and the good ones, and pregnancy woes, and how men are pigs, and clothes, and jewelry.

I can't talk about husbands or even boyfriends. I will never give birth to children. I don't have money for expensive clothes or jewelry. Some men are pigs, yes, but I've been Goddess-blessed to know many more who weren't.

I can talk about computers, and pro-wrestling, and computer games, and needlework, and ulcerative colitis, and how hospitals suck, and how I don't listen to the radio anymore, and how I love to drive, and my cats who are my children.

I don't think they'd listen. Or understand.

Note to self: Fire up WinMX before you collapse tonight to look for stuff by Anastacia. Us scarred chicks need to stick together. ;-)

Second note to self: Do not kill best friend because of many and various excuses as to why she cant' get a new job.

I bought the soundtrack for "Pirates of the Caribbean" a few days ago, and now I'm scribbling down things for my own sequal. Of course I would star in it. ;-)

I think I know why I was so tired and run-down by the end of yesterday... forgot to take my vitamens that morning. One chewable multi-vitamen, Omega-3 fatty acid (since I don't eat fish), B12 (since I have a tendency for single-digit blood counts), and Vitamen C (to boost my much-abused immune system). It seems to work, I stay mostly healthy.

"I do what I can
I work for a living
And that's who I am
That's who I am

"But it's good to be alive
And these are the choices
We make to survive
We do what we can"
We Do What We Can by Sheryl Crow

10 hours today... 10 hours tomorrow... 10 hours Monday... at least the paycheck will look good.

*zombie walks around the room*

More bad news, sorry...

Dad's being let go by the consulting company he's worked for, there's just no jobs, they say. He gets one week "on the bench", then laid off. If anyonek nows someone who needs an AS/400 guru, let me know.

Mom needs a complete hysterectomy to solve a bunch of health problems. Of course, now that Dad is basically unemployed, she's thinking about not having it done.

My sister and her husband have basically told my mom that they've made other arrangements for my neice's care. Which, knowing my brother-in-law, means we won't hardly ever see Raven or TJ again.

Needless to say, I'm a little bit stressed...

I swear, sometimes I want to kill my best friend.

She whines about her job, but won't go find another one. She whines about not having money, but she spends it on DVDs and getting her nails done and eating out. When I try to suggest things to help, they're either ignored or I get the litany of excuses.


Don't panic... I'm not always down. ;-)

To the guy in the red truck who tailgated me, then honked at me, then drove around me and cursed at me for doing 37 in a 35 zone: Fuck you. I hope you have the worst week of your life.

*whining about the Chinese the people in Word Processing are eating*

I'm too poor to eat out right now... I've got leftovers and sandwiches to look forward to for the next couple of years. :-p

My mantra for work...

I am the Falcon among sparrows
I am the Cat among the pigeons
I am the Wolf Cub in the litter of the lap dog

"Dare
Dare to keep all your dreams alive
Dare to be all that you can be
Dare
Dare is a place where dreams survive
It's calling you on to victory"
Dare by Stan Bush

Good morning... no hangover (never have gotten one), all the crap is out of my system, now I think I can face the world (and the two women at work) again without feeling like I need to punch someone.

Going to be updating the Tribute page, I have four rolls of film to sort and scan and link. Need to go through the Guam pics Lopez sent and get those posted before too long, too, or he'll start whining again.

Then it's off to Wildside. WHEEE!!!

good thing I have passwords saved...

WarCraft III soundtrack now... lots of layers, might have to go lay down to listen to them

very drunk. I like being very drunk sometimes. Bite me.

Whee, Jenn is drunk... watch the keyboard run away...

And listening to the "Children of Dune" soundtrack... sway your head to the desert sound... think of Sandworms and Spice and Maud-dib...

*raises her third shot of very very good saki to the sky*

Here's to everyone who won't hide their light under a fucking bushel.

You are Kenshin Himura!!


*Which of my fave anime characters are you?*
brought to you by Quizilla

I LOVE this series... I've seen about 2/3rds of it, all the way through the Kyoto arc. More stuff to buy when I get a DVD player and hit the lottery. ;-)

You have a great gift with the ways of the psi.
Now would you please stop reading my mind?


Are you psychic?
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hehehehehehehehehehe... Stuipd quiz, but I love the answer.

http://www.thestate.com/mld/thestate/6537752.htm

Sometimes, I am so ashamed of the people in the state I live in...

Terrorism was the first thing to come to everyone's (well, everyone but me) mind? Not, "It's summer, the demand must've overloaded the ciruit." or "It's summer, must've been a lightning strike somewhere." Gotta be them terrorists. The ones who are so scattered, they can't even be found.

Right.

*rolls eyes*

You are ice. You have a cold exterior but a warm
heart.


What element is your soul?
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A one-question quiz... OK...

You come from the Night Sky. You're drawn to the
stars and planets, and it's no wonder why, you
came from them.


Where Did Your Soul Originate?
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This is so true... I grew up watching Star Wars and Star Trek, and I'm always looking up. 75% of my wallpaper collection is shots from the Hubble telescope.

Geez... it's hard to find quizzes were the pictures actually, ya know, WORK...

You are Ephram Brown from Everwood. You are a
troubled teenager going through far more than a
normal person. You have a bright future ahead
of you, but you don't know how to use it. And a
tip: Smile.


What TV character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Never watched Everwood, but I sure can sympathize with the troubled teenager going through more than a normal person part. I think I've made it to a mostly bright future.

You are Belle from Beauty and the Beast!


What Disney Princess are you?
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YAY! I have to admit, I did kinda skew the answers so I'd try to get this. ;-) Belle's my second favorite Disney heroine, behind Mulan.

Your: Happy eyes! Your cheerfull, bright and always
want to try something new. Your inquisitive and
quite lovable. You have many friends and will
succseed in life.


What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla


OK, ok, so I'm bored at work... it's Friday afternoon!

You're Vash from Trigun!


What anime movie/game character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



Haven't seen Trigun yet... it's on the massive list of Anime I will one day own. ;-)

"Don't hide your light under a basket."

Well, fuck it, I wouldn't if I didn't keep getting slammed by someone at work because of it.

I REFUSE to apologize anymore for being smarter than 90% of the population. I will not dumb myself down to keep from threatening other women in my office. I'm sorry you're going through a hellish divorce, but I will not be your fucking scapegoat.

I'm a fucking scary smart bitch. Deal.

DAMNIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE STUFF I WROTE THIS MORNING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Damn, I can't even remember everything I wrote. Damnit.

Fun and spunky, you link, there for you are! This
is all fun and games, and you do what you
damned well please!


What kind of blogger am I?
brought to you by Quizilla

So a good portion of the Northeast, Canada, and even into Ohio has lost power. It's amazing how fast they said, "Not terrorism!" Won't matter, some will say it was a major cover-up. Or that terrorists caused the overload in the first place.

*rolls eyes*

And when was the last time YOU paid attention when the government cried "Wolf!" with it's terrorism warnings? How many times has the Golden Gate Bridge been about to be blown up? I guess as many times as it takes to get another batch of our rights gaurenteed by the Constitution taken away.

And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen
cause I've seen twilight


"Twilight" by Vanessa Carlton

Bleh. The only bad part about the shot is the slight nausea afterwards. I think it's more from the needle than the medicine, but who knows. I'll just put off eating until I either a) get the shakes so bad I need the protein or b) it goes away. :-p

Random thought for the moment: I have shaving. I have thick hair that loves to grow under my skin instead of on top of it. Thick DARK hair that stands out on my pale skin. Shaving takes a lot of quality time with me, my electric razor (skin's too sensitive for blades) and a sharp needle to dig out ingrown hairs. One of the few ways I oblige society... they say women shouldn't have hair, so I shave legs, arms, armpits, and even around my surgical scars on my belly. I pluck hairs in some other places we won't mention in a pubilc blog. ;-p

OK, ok, back to work...

At work. Joy.

I am the last person in South Carolina who uses a turn signal and doesn't run red lights? I mean, if the Lt. Governor can't be bothered to do so, the rest of us don't have to, either?

I also think I'm the last person on Ebay on consistantly emails people and leaves feedback. I've sold 30 things in the last three weeks... I've gotten 2 feedbacks. And God forbid you have a question about someone's auction, there's a real chance you won't get an answer back.

Oh well, on to the cross-stitch I do while the phones don't ring...

Morning... 5:36am here in South Cackalacky, and I've been up 15 - 20 minutes already. Hurray for coffee!

Already updated my checkbook... need to update the Tribute page (http://nwawildside.bravepages.com/)... should update Jeremy Lopez's page, but I don't think I have the brain cells yet to do it without screwing something up.

Get my Depo shot today. Why the shot? Because on the Pill I was bleeding 21 days out of 28, and we won't go into what I'm like without... with the shot, no flooding, no cramping, no spotting... nothing. Works for me. It's not like I'm having kids.

Oh, guess I should put emails or something...

jlsigman@hotmail.com is the one I give out, it's got the best spam blocking.

I'm on MSN sometimes, and AIM all day.

I'm also on a MUD when I can.

I play Diablo II right now, Jav-azon and Zeal-adin.

I do webpages...
http://www.angelfire.com/sc/JLSigman/
http://www.jeremylopez.net/
http://www.angelfire.com/wrestling3/wildsidemurder1/

OK, a bit about myself, now that I have figured out I can keep getting here...

I'm an almost 28-year-old woman, single, permanently single, and did I mention I'm single and not looking?

I do look. I want to lay my head against the chest of one man in particular, to feel his skin and hear his heart beat in my ear. It's what inevitably comes after that I do not want, cannot want, seem to be wired to not want. I guess 8+ years of sexual abuse will do that to you.

So I live alone, me and my four cats, in a house I bought three years ago.

I dream of what I've never felt. And wonder if I'll ever find someone similar.

OK, so I've caved in to peer pressure and started one of these things. It doesn't seem to be blocked at work, so I might actually think about using it.

Maybe. ;-)